[Alright, thank you very much for bearing with us through the sports-centric week here at the HBCC. Promise, we won't make a habit of it.]Well, it's the weekend. That means that I'm once again not in NYC, Handsome is working overnights, Senor is declaring a sleep boycott, Fabulous is prowling the streets for loose change stray cats, America is, by and large, safe, except for perhaps the 19th floor of the San Francisco Hilton which may be experiencing toxic, Chicken Vindaloo and garlic naan clouds very soon. (Ahhh, fart jokes. My ace in the hole when I can't write anything original.)
People: you've only got 48 hours to do something handsome this weekend. Maybe it will be helping an old woman cross the street, maybe it will be buying your friends a round of drinks. Maybe you'll get drunk and give that fat/ugly girl/guy a chance to get in your pants for once and for 3-5 minutes, make their dreams come true, only to drop them off at the corner of Front Street and Self-Loathing Misery Boulevard (out of all the streets names, I think I love 'boulevard' the best. street, road, lane, circle, avenue, etc. boulevard. that's where its at)
Whatever. Whatever it is you do, make like a Joel Zumaya fastball (103 MILES PER HOUR) and, er, go fast into a catcher's mit and then get thrown back to the pitcher and then do it all over again until the best lineup in baseball is retired.
Terrible, terrible metaphor. HAPPY WEEKEND! REMEMBER, SANTA IS MAKING A LIST!
1 comment:
Jesus Harold! You being out of town every F-ing weekend is NOT handsome. At all. Are you going to be in NY NEXT weekend? Great. I'll be out of town that weekend. See ya never. Keep in touch with yourself.
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