how good is he? how bad you wanna know?

Refrigerator magnets. Brilliant invention. Truly brilliant. How many times have you been at a party, seen these silly little things up on the refrigerator and thought, "Damn, that girl is really fine, but I am definitely not drunk enough to try talking to her. Maybe if i stand here and rearrange these refrigerator magnets until either a.) she walks over here or b.) I'm more drunker"? That's just me? Oh, okay.

Well, regardless, Mr. Tough, refrigerator magnets inevitably end up as some dirty phrase. People always sit there and push them around for a while and maybe spell out something clever, but after a certain amount of time, it's always more fun to try to write something dirty. I've heard some people say that peeling bottle labels is a sign of sexual frustration. Well peeling labels ain't got nothing on refrigerator magnets. And the magnets, coupled with your dirty thoughts, always have a way of doing so just at the right time when that person you were checking out from across the room finally comes into the kitchen and there you are, alone, playing with magnets on the refrigerator door and arranging them to say things like,

Or what about this doozy:At which point the unknown person gets completely weirded out, goes back to their friends and tells them all what a freak you are. That's just me? Oh, okay.

But, its not just at a part or in an apartment. The other day I noticed that the usually docile, tech-inspired magnets on the refrigerator in my office have now formed this little ditty:Wow. I mean, really, people. Geek? That is so not PC, although it is HBCC (College students: Your homework tonight is to write a dissertation comparing/contrasting politically correct (PC) and Handsome Bobsled, Captain Commando (HBCC). 500 word minimum. Seriously. You write it, we'll post it. handsome.bobsled @ gmail.com Good Luck.)

I know this is nothing new, and there are probably actual dirty word refrigerator magnets out there so people don't have to get out a Ginsu knife, cut out letters from perfectly normal words so they can spell things like, "sExeE Blond FUk BusCh light", but until I find those pre-written magnets, I guess I'll just make like everyone else and become that knife-weilding, refrigerator magnet ninja that freaks everyone the fuck out. That's just me? Oh, okay.