Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Baked Beach Bit # 2a

So for the second installment of my new Baked Beach Bit series I will be talking a bit about some of the people that I have met here in the LA (pronounced laaaa). I was pretty excited about meeting all these cool California People and gettin' a sence of Left Coast Culture. Much to my schagrin (???spelling of shagrin/chagrin/whatever) it seems noone here is actually from Califronia. Everyone I met so far is from somewhere else. Don't know why I am surprised, NY was the same deal but these transplants are different.... See in NY I met people from Boston, Philly, hell even Miami but mostly from somewhere on/near the east coast. Everyone I have met here is from the fuckin' midwest. WTF!? Nebraska, Ohio, Missouri, Idaho. I wanted to meet all these cool people and all I get is the goddamn class presidents and dreamers from the fly overs. This is bullshit. Even the celebrities I meet are from the midwest. Had dinner with Nelly tonight. Seriously, nice guy but can I get a Snoop Dog for Chrissake! Goddamn flyovers...

Monday, January 29, 2007

Baked Beach Bit #1

Driving to Tito's Taco's I had a little moment. Driving in my car with the sunroof open, just finished blazing at the beach, I found myself grooving. I mean really getting down by myself in my car. I then thought to listen to what was actually blasting from my stereo with bass ^^^up up. Get in to the Groove! I swear to god Get into the Groove was rocking my world. Wonder what the local's thought of the guy with NY Plates jammin' to Get into the Groove like he was a backup dancer for Wham! 80's Nigga.....

Left Coast of Handsome....

ha ha her name is NEGAR and she has a pussycake!

Hey there Bobsled, the only reader left after our hiatus. Handsome comin' back to life here from the Wu-Side. Thats right suckas The Wu followed me here to Los Angeles to show these bitches/Ese's how we do it in "The Hattan". The rumors are true. I have defected. I have strapped on the Auburgene's for my most oficious and daring exploit yet. Bringing some East side love to the West Coast.
First off I have to say that the police out here are fucking off the hook. Not 30 minutes after crossing into California I was pulled over by a CHiP. WTF. He proceeded to tell me that the aircraft clocked me at 89mph. As I wondered if the recently consumed cronotons were playing tricks on my mind, my faithful travel partner noticed a plane circling us through the sunroof. Do you know anyone who has been pulled over by a god damn plane before. We have all laughed at those signs on the highway but out her in The Fronia it is fo-sho! However, it was the nicest cop I have ever met. He didn't even try to search our car or anything. Thank god. Oh, and I have the wrong address on my license so fuck that ticket! HBCC 1, CHIPS 0

Venice Beach is my new home for now and it seems ok. There is a little streatch called Abbot Kinney that has kind of a Bklyn meets Chong feel. Or maybe that was my companion "Humbolt" speaking....... Either way they have these fucking awsome shoes. In fact Soooo Many Shoes. You can't believe it. I got the new scoop on the shoes that won't make it back to the east coast any time soon. These shits are so phat you think they just got done at a Del Taco Buffet. If anyone in NY wants a pair just give me a holla and I will send out a pair so you can be the first to rock the hottest new shoes on the planet. Check'em out gangstas:

More from me to come.......i gotta get my Left Coast Mo-Jo runnin'

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

all good things must come to an end, the bad ones just go on forever

"wipeout wipeout!! WIPEOUT WIPEOUT WIPEOUT!!!"

Wow, it's been a while huh? You look really great.

What's up? Those new year's resolutions must really be working out for ya. What's that? You stopped running and took up bobsledding instead? Well, whatever it is, you look great.

What's new with us? A lot, thanks for asking. As you might have noticed, we still have the same shitty website layout that we've come to loathe. I don't know, maybe you love it, maybe not. Whatever. We're working on updating it. It's a resolution we made. We suck at sticking to resolutions.

While I continue to Bobsled down the same trails I've always gone down, Captain Handsome broke west for California. Motherfucker's living it up in Venice. So no more, "I'm from New York, I'm so special" posts. Now its all about, "Traffic on the 405 was so fucked up today" and "God, the temperature dropped below 40, it's fucking freezing here!!" Stupid shit like that that CA people can't seem to get enough off. That and celebrities. Am I missing anything, Capt? Ahhhh, what the fuck would you know, you've barely been out there 48 hours.

Well, (I used that word just so all of the paragraphs would start with the letter 'W'. This post is also brought to you by the number 37, which is 4+100/7+18.714285714285(I think that's a repeating number actually, but whatever) anyways, as the title says, good things come to an end, bad ones just go on forever. (that's a line from Destroyer's Rubies. I stole it. I'm sorry Dan Bejar, please don't destroy me. HEE HEE I couldn't resist.) ( I must also apologize to you, fair reader. That album, as great as it is, is soooo last year. With our new commitment to helping you become more handsome, we'll be more diligent about posting only things that are fresh, new, relevant, groundbreaking, breathtaking, robust, turnkey and earth shattering. Like Travis McGee & The Revelers, playing February 16th at The Baggot Inn.)

Where was I? Oh yes. All good things must come to an end, the bad ones just go one forever. As you probably already know, the HBCC is far from 'good'. And since we've got a long way to go before we could ever be considered even just 'bad' (and not in the Michael Jackson way either) I guess we'll start posting again and get cracking on that whole 'forever' thing.


Thursday, January 04, 2007

Get Handsome Part 2: T-Shirts

I was gonna do some kind of really in-depth post about cool t-shirts that might help you Get Handsome. But, in reality, I'm detoxing (fuck you new year's resolutions). And right now my brain hurts worse than that time I stayed out till 4am on a Tuesday and still got to work on time Wednesday. Seriously, I might go out and kill a vagrant on my way home.

So, I'm gonna do some links. Some links with some images and a little bit of writing. Maybe then you'll notice that I completely gaffled that little piece of Photoshop hotness above from someone else way more creative than me. I mean us. But maybe you'll also get an idea of some cool t-shirts out there. This is more or less a starter's guide of sorts, but do your homework - you'll find some other even better stuff via these links.

Shall we?

Wu-Tang T-shirt from
Manifest. Currently sold out at the Turntable Lab online store cause its fucking...(insert fruit that will replace BANANAS in 2007. Kumquats? Hells yeah.)...its fucking Kumquats!! YEAHS!!! Check it out:There's also this one:Then there's this little ditty from Lemar & Dauley (this is my personal favorite in the group. you can buy it from Shop Cream...)
And last, but by no means least, we have these cute little ladies caught in the act on a shirt from Foreign Family (a shirt you might want to purchase from Lion's Den in LA)...We're only scratching the surface here, but I'll finish with this one from Reason (pure brilliance really...)And this one that pretty much sums it all up for ya (also from Reason)...

Well, good luck out there. Get Handsome!