Monday, October 29, 2007

Dreamin' Bout Heavin' But Feel Like Hell

It's official. I am a traitor. Today I ventured into the dark depths of the California DMV. As my rent payments for my Union Square apartment (tear) are through I am officially not a New York Resident. That sucks because I feel that my NY residence made me better than the rest of the puff balls out here. I mean, I still rock the Giants Hat, drive like a madman, blast Biggie, and inevitably move the fuck back home but this is still a tough step for me.

All told, Santa Monica ran a pretty tight ship on the DMV department. Much friendlier than the New York lot at least. Only issue was that they made me take the drivers test once again. Shit, this could be complicated. Luckily I flirted with the test desk woman (think 47 year old 215lb black woma with purple fingernails longer than my tibula) and she smiled while sliding me the exam "This is the easy one sweetie....". My hospitality training and boyish good looks paid off once more. I rocked the motherfucker.

So I went to a NY Giants Santa Monica Fan Club meeting at a local bar this Sunday. Wow, was it lame. There were 8 guys in a quiet bar and 1 60 year old woman wearing a Giants hat. One of the awsome fans was reading a comic book. Jessica and I were not amused. I missed going to my favorite football bar for this? After 2 Fat Tires (10am) and a few texts to The Frey it was decided we would dip at half time. I of course told a lie, something about budget season and having to go to the office......whatever, we were the hell out of there. Straight out to my favorite Football Spot on the Promenade (not that gay place Yankee Doodle for you West Side Readers - all 0 of you). Much better, it was loud I drank a bitcher of dark ass beer and cheered on the rest of the Giants' shitty ass game. As my buzz was reaching a peak I see a few of the Giants Fan Club coming into the bar staring at me. Shit. The truth, why don't I ever tell the truth! One was not amused whatssoever (Mets Jersey and yamika) while the other was like, I don't bame you bro (bald, chunky, cheery, tequila drinking Shockey Jersey wearing). After I bought a few Beam shots it was all good. Either way, stupididty sturck again.....

Monday, October 01, 2007

Handsome Sports

Yes, that is LT seconds before he snapped the living shit out of Joe Theisman's pansy ass chicken let. Spaulding> I hope you still read the blog. Know you don't though. Dick. Redskins fan, nuf said. Ha Ha, Theisman actually signed the picture......for money. He's crippled and broke.

At the HBCC sports is seldom talked about unless it is from the 2am thursday night drunk ass ramblings from Bobsled after a nasty game of UWS kickball. Bobsled had a mowhawk. LT Had a mowhawk. Not a coincidence, both are bad ass mother fuckers. I know you are like, what the fuck.....this post is all in english. Jah, I am not a master at hipsterbonics like the sled. T-Rex Giants!

Oh right sports. The New York Giants are getting full support from the HBCC on the Left here. Last monday I had a meeting with the CFO of my company and could not talk because on Sunday, i got up at 9am and double fisted through the Giants / Skins (die redskins bitches) game. He asked if I was sick, I replied "Go Giants" in a pathetic hung over whisper. Then he ordered the Tuna Tartar.

Tonight the Higantes (spanich for the housekeeping team) (not a type-o) punished the Eagles like a kitten to the red dot of a lazer pointer. Pat Pat goes the paw. Down goes McNabb. Why the extra B? Bitch perhaps? So a quick shot to the moon for the NY Giants. So Blazed......

Actually, sadly, didn't take this>>

I also saw LCD Soundsystem at the Hollywood Bowl last week. Was so blazed in the lawn seats I just sat and imagined I was in Prospect Park.........then saw a bunch of Hollywooders talking poo on NEW..............(York). Jerks.

So My boy owns a Dispensory out her in the LA. Yeah, I have a free ticket to the 'Dam every day. I usually chill there after work on fridays where inevitably I visit the volcano with some rediculous OG. Wow, blog turned from sports, to cat in sports themed garbage can, to the dreams of my highschool/college days. Seriously, thirty + types of kittens to choose from, sheesh, and edibles. Holy god it is like T-Rex finding a My Little Pony!!!!!! Watched the UCLA game there yesterday and nearly lunched. Handsome out..................................MEOW

Oh yeah, I also let one slip from the Clip the other day @ Trader Joes (farted). I was walking with my cart towards some tasty Jarlsberg Cheese and crossed the Janitors Mop Jetstream. I slid suddenly and it provoked a slight toot from ole Powderfinger (yes, a neil young / anal reference....not as bad as you think)......I was imbarassed until I realized only a 38 year old Chinese Lady/Girl *38 is a tough year* heard me. I am pretty sure I winked and walked off. I actually think I grabbed the Jarlsberg, avoided eye contact, and Heisman'd my way through the next isle. Word.