Go Sell Some Medicine Bitches.....

Today marks the second and probably most important day for the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) conference held every year in New York City. I believe that the issues that this conference brings to the table are not only important to the world but most importantly New Yorkers. Issues such as traffic: Did you know that there are over 169 planned street closures in NYC this week? Holy balls in your mouth, are you kidding me. You lucky hipster bastards will of course not being affected because the closures are from Houston up towards the 60's. Goddamned basterds win again. Thats what I get for living in midtown (not for long....)! So if any of you Hipster American's were planning your first trip above 14th street in this new millenium I would give it another week.

Incidentally Halal food sales have skyrocketed throughout the city this week. The majority of countries asking for money,I mean attending the meeting, seem to be from the Middle East and Africa. Oh joy to the Street Meat Vendors. Can you imagine the bathrooms in the United Nations......Hoooooly Shit. Even Big "W" tried to fit in while rubbing elbows with his fellow world leaders.

Sadly, this little effort towards foreign diplomacy did not pan out so well. Kofi Anon happened to walk by during W's ethnic lunch and gave the kind of lecture that the UN should really do a lot more often.....
The best part about getting your ass kicked by the UN is that they are really really really good at you know, aid and madicine, caring and whatnot. I hope the UN is near the next time I catch a supreme beatdown (i call it a supreme beatdown because if you are beating down the Handsome, you must be some serious badass). So lets get back to some important news coming out of this epic world conference.

So what is going on at this little meeting other than food cart anhialation, traffic jams, bullshit hours for us hotel workers (sorry)? Here is a quick rundown.

Yesterday: Bush gave a speech justifying his need to destroy all the middle east....errr terrorism ==>Iran's President Ahmoud Ahmadinejad lost his shit and declared that there was no holocost during WWII, Israel should be whiped off the planet, and that the United states was evil. OOOKKKKaaayyyy.....Psycho, thanks for making George W look normal==>Some smaller counties such as Loosebowlestan in Southern Eastern Bunglan Peninsula decided that they would open up the lima bean trade with Lower Konfuckistan. ==> Angela Jolie asked countries to give her babies so people love her more. Angela, you are a bitch and we all know it. Stop boning aboriginees and tribesmen to gain world respect. Oh what....they were adopted? No shit. Well, I still don't believe you. I still think she is a "Hut Whore".

Today: The president of Venizuala went ape shit on stage and ranted that George Bush was the one and only "Devil". I guarantee South Park does something with this...... I really can't make this stuff up folks. Check out the NY Post tomorrow. Guaranteed Pun headline about it. Unless they were too busy covering the Mets. Fags! Go Yankees! ==> Finally, to close the days sessions, George W unveiled his new weapon in the war against terror. He stated that it will not only anhialate the enemy but also tells the UN how he feels about their opinion........