Please read Bobsled's post below before reading this follow up piece. By piece i mean piece of crap.......
Self Loathing Sunday (SLS) luckily begins around ohhh 4 - 5pm when you wake up from last nights/this mornings slumber. Usually your eyes come crashing open, then immediatly turn red, burn, and finally are usually closed and buried under a pillow all the while moaning like. That is before you realize your mouth feels like a litter box and you go scrambling to the kitchen for a drink. That is before you realilze you have no drinks. Then, and only the have you entered a self loathing sunday. I have found only one thing that can make me feel any satisfaction on a self loathing sunday. Well 2 things but I don't want to talk about the porn. Shit. I digress. 
Follow these steps and you have done all that you can do to feel better on SLS:
1) Gather every single food menu in your house/apartment.
2) Look at each one with interest and become highly excited about the only thing that can make you feel better (food).
3) Get angry because you don't know what the fuck you want to eat.
4) Call one of your other SLS suffering friends, complain, find out how you pooped on a bum's foot the night before, flirted pathetically with a girl that you will inevitably have to shamefully face again, and ask for advice on what country's edibles might save you from suicide.
5) You make the ulitmate decision. Order food from two different delivery places. A twinge of feeling better will be felt.
6) I usually prefer a Carl's Cheesesteak with extra Wiz then some mashed potatoes and buffalo wings from Manchester pub. Another favorite combination is Taco's and chips from Blockheads with cheese sticks and chicken nuggets fro Jimbo's hamburger pit. (Carl's: 3rd Ave @34th St. 212-696-5336 )
7) Always get a dessert. Milkshake recommended.
8) Realize that you ate too much and feel like shit again.
9) Porn
10) That didn't work eather cause there is no beating Self Loathing Sunday's you ignorant bastard! See you next week.
Self Loathing Sunday (SLS) luckily begins around ohhh 4 - 5pm when you wake up from last nights/this mornings slumber. Usually your eyes come crashing open, then immediatly turn red, burn, and finally are usually closed and buried under a pillow all the while moaning like. That is before you realize your mouth feels like a litter box and you go scrambling to the kitchen for a drink. That is before you realilze you have no drinks. Then, and only the have you entered a self loathing sunday. I have found only one thing that can make me feel any satisfaction on a self loathing sunday. Well 2 things but I don't want to talk about the porn. Shit. I digress. Follow these steps and you have done all that you can do to feel better on SLS:
1) Gather every single food menu in your house/apartment.
2) Look at each one with interest and become highly excited about the only thing that can make you feel better (food).
3) Get angry because you don't know what the fuck you want to eat.
4) Call one of your other SLS suffering friends, complain, find out how you pooped on a bum's foot the night before, flirted pathetically with a girl that you will inevitably have to shamefully face again, and ask for advice on what country's edibles might save you from suicide.
5) You make the ulitmate decision. Order food from two different delivery places. A twinge of feeling better will be felt.
6) I usually prefer a Carl's Cheesesteak with extra Wiz then some mashed potatoes and buffalo wings from Manchester pub. Another favorite combination is Taco's and chips from Blockheads with cheese sticks and chicken nuggets fro Jimbo's hamburger pit. (Carl's: 3rd Ave @34th St. 212-696-5336 )
7) Always get a dessert. Milkshake recommended.
8) Realize that you ate too much and feel like shit again.
9) Porn
10) That didn't work eather cause there is no beating Self Loathing Sunday's you ignorant bastard! See you next week.
Love,
Captain "Eat Me SLS" Handsome
3 comments:
::french accent on:: pleeezzz, zenyor. zizz ezz not zelf-loathing tuzzday. ::frech accent off:: we are back to being assholes who are semi-arrogant with no reason for being so, whatsoever. so you can take this sexy v. handsome debate somewhere else. handsome wins hands down...er...
You can't even compete with Handsome. I will post some pictures of you to prove it Senor Sexy. And the Reason you have never had a Self Loathing Sunday is because your Sunday is just an extension of the Saturday that doesn't end. Senor Sexy has self loathing Monday.
p.s. Senor Sexy's real nick name is "Mashed Potata's"
Oh yeah, thanks bobsled for comming to my defense. That is why you are the Commando!
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