Entrepreneur Am I

4th of July. What a great, great day my fellow Americans. Happy 230th Birthday America! The celebration has been 4 days long now. I am definintly a fan of major holiday's occuring on a Tuesday! The distruction is everywhere. Crazy eyed ex-frat boys mobbing the UES looking for their 50th beer pong win. Yuppies and hipsters alike delve into the night as thought it were a 9 - 5 shift at the Bed Bath and Beyond Corporate Offices. 2 Piece Suites? Naaa, holla and watch yo ass cause these Nike Delta Force 3/4 Delux size 13's with the interchangable black and red shoe laces are gonna rumble over, on, and through you if you say suite again. This is Fourth of July 4 Day Fucking Weekend.

That said, I am lying. I worked today. But the last 3 days that seemed to be pretty much like that. Instead I did something even more American on this hallowed birthday of a Nation overrun with bullshit politics, Hummers, and Holla Back........Wait, I like the Holla back. Lemme hold that. I digress, so what was this great American thing I did today. I went to work hungover, sat at my desk reading sports online, ordered tacos, watched world cup (nice work Italy - Basta Germany!!!) and generally was a waste of shit. Now that is American! Well, now I am home just wasting time. I mean getting wasted. The Macy's 4th of July Fireworks are going on about 200 feet away from my apartment and I am not even going to leave my miniscule apartment to see them. That too is a Testiment to Americans. But wait. I have come up with my sure bet way to live that American Dream you are always hearing about. Thanks to my business partner, Mr. Powers and his "dream for esteem". Entrepreneurial side......GOOOOOOOOO (for Bobsled ----> Mmmmeeeeeaaaaaallllllllllll).

THE SELF ESTEEM SPA

Yes that is right losers. Like every good 2.0 GPA graduate of the James Madison College of Business, I did my market research. There are a ton of you Self Esteem Spa needing people out there. These ordinary, kinda geeky, people are now going to have their day. Tired of seeing all those hot ass botox bitches strolling around getting facials (not that kind HBCC reading audience......I was thinking it too :) he he he) and Spa Treatments. Well, now you will have your own Spa too. One that will leave you feeling just as confident, handsome, fresh, and inwardly happy as those uppity bitches who go to spa's to pamper her physical self. Come and Feel your inner beauty at the Self Esteem Spa. With many specialized treatments incuding our:

No Loathing Lounge - Our Esteem Servers make the smoothest Sherbert Smoothies with no less than 3 compliments while you enjoy your beverage or the smoothie's on us!

Breakdonw Booth - Not for beginners, this high intesnsity breaking of your "self" will leave you sucking your thumb like a little baby giraffe. We have hired a crack team of Ex-Marines to crush the pathetic person you have sadly grown to be. Then Get Ready.....

Fake Date Dinner - A favorite for the mid-lifer's! Our personalized staff of retired "Tide" and "Sunny Delight" Commercial Actresses' will really build back that self esteem you were looking for. How much is this service you ask? Whatever the cost of dinner, the more you pay at dinner, the more self esteem we pile on.

The Shame Chamber - Modelled after a Native American Sweat Lodge, this esteem treatment yeilds results for both body and soul. Sweat out the old you as we pump in Rod Steward Classics. "If you think I'm sexy...."

Solid Fucking Gold People. Isn't this the best Business Idea that you have ever heard of. And the best part is, I know it works. I am not only the co-founder and President, I'm also a client! Happy 4th of July My Fellow Americans!

Ohhh, I almost forgot.....Congradulations Bobsled! This fine American completed 2 complete Mexian Restaurant Dinners with sides and all last night at El Sombrero around 1:30 am. And chips and salsa! Great work Amigo. I guess the Macy's show tonight won't be the first Fireworks You Have Seen (experienced) Today. Ziiiinnnnggggg