if you like 6' 3" 231 lbs quarterbacks with laser rocket arms

Dear people who own Hummers: thanks for the weather this week. I thought I was done sweating for the year, but, no, actually the heat goes on.

Anyways, our own Captain referenced this on Tuesday, but after seeing the record setting number of comments on his post, I thought I’d round out the week with something that expands on the idea of a Drink-Off. Besides, I have visions of the Bourbon Samurai holding a sword to my throat, and I scare easily (last night I had a dream about Freddy Krueger and had to call my mom at like 3 in the morning).

First off: Happy Weekend. We made it America. As John Cougar Mellencamp says on those fucking truck commercials, “This is our country.” And then, as Jimmy Johnson says in that Miller Lite commercial, “Duh-uumb.” And as the caveman says, “I don’t have much of an appetite ::death stare::”

Second: A drink off. Yes, I said it, a drink off.

My friend and I had a little conversation before the Nada Surf show at the Hiro Ballroom Monday, shortly after polishing off some tequila shots. See, she is the manager/owner/founder of one Brooklyn Drinkers Club, based in, you guessed it, Brooklyn. Jeah. Well, freaking, wouldn’tchaknowit, shortly after consuming tequila, some shit starts getting talked up like a freaking vindaloo mouth suppository.

Yeah, HBCC v. BDC was the idea. A battle royale drink off. A drink till you die and then drink some more night of drinking our faces off.

The idea hit me like a moment of clarity (I hate those). It went like this: Two teams line up on either side of a table from each other, kind of like flip cup. Beforehand, one team chooses the weapon, i.e. tequila, vodka, whiskey, etc. Then, the first team members begin taking shots until they puke. When the first person pukes, the second person begins taking shots, and so on down the line. First team to have everyone puke wins. Unfortunately, we failed to see eye-to-eye on this idea. Apparently (and correct me if I’m wrong friend who knows who she is), the BDC doesn’t include hard liquor in their get-togethers. Which is cool: I mean, the idea of a drinker’s club is a social activity. Let’s get together share in some drinks, maybe compare/contrast drinks, wax intellectual – all while tying one on. It’s nice. It probably results in people remembering what they did the night before, maybe hooking up (as opposed to passing out, as the HBCC is wont to do).

No liquor. And that’s the problem. BDC says, “Oh, a social interaction, this will be fun.” HBCC says, “DRINK OFF, DIE SCUMBAGS, DIE!!!”

Really. Like, I told the HBCC about the challenge and then the no liquor caveat and people were pissed. Like for real. A lot of F Brooklyn’s and what not. And then of course Snakes, the only female member of the HBCC (so far), weighs in with WEAKLES BENEAKLES and that straight blew the door of it. (Some time we’ll tell the story of how Snakes is the most unintentionally racist person on the planet. It’s hilarious)

Anyways, a drink off has some very interesting potential. And, no, the BDC has not answered our challenge yet. So...yeah, we’ll make this an open challenge: 30 beers (Bud Lite), a fifth of liquor (TBD), and a Crave Case from White Castle. First team (FYI, we'll call a 'team' eight (8) members) to finish every item retains the title of BLOGWORLD DRINK-OFF CHAMPIONS. Contest to be held in New York City only. (Not valid in Mexico, New Mexico, or anywhere else that encourages people to drink when they’re five years old. I’m looking at you Russia and Kentucky).

Well, something to consider.

HAPPY WEEKEND!!! STAY HANDSOME!!!