if i'm too simple then ya'll don't get the basics

Happy Holidays from the HBCC, or HHFTHBCC!

1.) Visit our friends (aka people we envy) over the break and get to know why we think they’re the best:

You Look Really Great

Passion of the Weiss

The Gay Beach

NYC Balderdash

Velvet Sea

Wachs This Way

Misguided Misadventures in NYC

Low Concept

R2K

Down With Detroit

Bohemian Playboy

the simple mission

Joshua Wildman

Curbed

Eater

Slam X Hype

Pick Your Shoes

YAY Sports

LeBlog

FreeDarko

2.) I asked for some help earlier this week and I’m still hoping a few people out there can throw down that ulta-obscure recommendation that’s going to throw my 12 year middle school reunion into a frenzy. Weigh in with whatcha got.

3.) Yesterday I was chatting with a hot sexy babe online. I mean like really hot and sexy and baby (huh?) Anyways, she says to me:

Dateline15fnaked: hey big boy
HBCC: me?
Dateline15fnaked: ;) yeah you
HBCC: uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah
Dateline15fnaked: i'm wearing orange undies today
HBCC: that sounds sweet
like an orange
or a cumquatt
Dateline15fnaked: ewww, you’re gross, I’m gone. But I’ll leave the backdoor open and a camera crew on hand in case you want to come over. And there’s gonna be lemonade and cookies also…
I totally thought I was gonna score, but, alas, my private school > state university education failed me. Something about the cumquatt comment totally blew it for me.

Disappointed, I headed over to the answer for everything, Wikipedia, to find out just what the fuck went wrong. I searched for cumquatt, and there it was, my glaring error revealed: spelling. Kumquat. Shit. Fuck shit balls. (earmuffs kids).

So I click on the link and there it is, the Kumquat, in all its glory. My interest piqued, I read on about this strange fruit of Earth passion:

“Kumquat- Kumquats are small orange fruits harvested from the crevices of dwarves arses, predominantly in the north west united states. The name is derived from the latin coom, meaning taste, and quat, meaning like foecal matter”

Well then, now I know what grossed out my little hottie: tastes like foecal matter? Gross. Fuck you Kumuat, fuck you in your stupid ass.

4.) Finally, thanks to all you who keep checking in from time to time. Happy Holidays to you and yours, safe travels and visit our friends over at GBEHH.com to hook up a little holiday cheer, email style