The HBCC Archives

So I guess my return to blogging meant....nothing

2008-09-04T22:57:00.006-04:00

So I am here drinking some 2 buck chuck and watching the McCain speech. It is honestly a pretety solid speech but I swear to god that he keeps reminding me of......hmmmm. Who does he remind me of. I swear he was going to end the speech with "Please, Try My Product"

Come on, i can't be alone on this. Solid Gold! Right? Whatever, the Gmen beat the crap out of the crapskins. I mean look at the people rooting for this team, i shouldn't be surprised:

Go Big Blue.........talk to you soon, 8 months from now

Shakin' in the Fornia

2008-08-01T21:46:00.006-04:00

Pretty solid week. Went to the Circus the other weekend. Felt like that 40 year old guy at the Hanna Montana movie premier. Not gonna lie, trapese is the shit. Went to the Orange County Fair, that too was the shit. Saw some pits with balls the size of Kansas while eating a block of Mormon cheese. I haven't been to a fair in about 15 years so lets do the rundown: fried dough cake, 2 corn dogs, orange julius (holy shit, when is the last time you heard about an orange julius.....i thought the went under like 15 years ago. it was money), grilled corn, cheese block, and a hot dog. Yes even powers would be proud of that feast. Has powers every told you about the time he ordered $40 from Bondi BBQ in Venice. And ate it all (see above picture). Anyhow, if you get a chance to check the fair you should hit it up and hit it up hard.

Lets talk about the earthquake.....My first earthquake. 5.8 is not a bad rumble for a first quake. I was standing by the copy machine at work, very Office Space moment, and had no idea an quake was a rumblin. I seriously thought it was the taco's from last night. I felt all woozy, disoriented and thought i was hallucinating. Then the copier came at me and I shit my pants. The hole place just shook like Mrs. Websters gullet after Sunday Brunch. At that moment the 49 year old career cash handler ran from her office screaming earthquake. It was the first time that even occurred to me, i thought i was just really losing my shit. I almost fell over my lets were so weak. It was the same feeling I felt when I saw the clowns on the mini motor cycles at the formentioned circus. In all honesty, it was scary as hell. The entier earth shook, it was one of the most surreal feelings i have ever felt. Not very cool for sure. But shit didn't break so it was totally awsome! (think Wild Stallions awsome)

So thats the short update, there is some seriously cool shit I have to post but i don't want to bunch it in with this lame ass post. It is way to cool for that.

So I'm back and it is because of the Damn O's

2008-07-26T14:18:00.007-04:00

I hate Baltimore sports teams. Certain friends of mine choose to ruin society with their support of the O's and it caused me to speak out. See, I have been having one of those great Fornia (see Calif...) mornings, perfect. Got up, saw the frey off to work, ran to the ocean, watched some US Surf Open, came home, showered at pool, hit pool, ignored the chunky girls at the pool, and back to the apt to check out some Espn. Love that kind of morning. See, in NY I would just be getting home. Like Bobsled (whom I just called to get permission to desecrate our desecrated site) whom just got in from last night (note 3pm EST). Damn I miss the hatten sometimes. But again, days like this never happened either.

So I check My email and find an email from a dear friend spaulding. It contained such heanous images that I was forced to reactivate. By reactivate you should be thinking along the lines of Rambo liquidating a man in a jeep with a 50 calibur machine gun. Anyhow, here is the crap I was emailed this morning:

Some people just don't get it. Lady liberty obviously is one of them if this is the case. However, it is not the case. What you see is not lady liberty at all. It is Molly liberty, the cracked out hooker from Baltimore whom left her mother lady in an unbenounced adobption by Bielzebub (spelling.....what, like you have tired to spell it lately). Go ahead and keep her Baltimore! I'm headed down to Joe's Pizza to watch the Yankees destroy the Redsox and tie those bastards for 2nd!

So yes, I will be updating my life on this site again and no it won't be anything good. Have a great day and make it better than Bobsled's. Goodnight sweet prince.

Incidentally, this will be the last time I ever comment on the O's. It's just not worth it.....

Dreamin' Bout Heavin' But Feel Like Hell

2007-10-29T19:36:00.001-04:00

It's official. I am a traitor. Today I ventured into the dark depths of the California DMV. As my rent payments for my Union Square apartment (tear) are through I am officially not a New York Resident. That sucks because I feel that my NY residence made me better than the rest of the puff balls out here. I mean, I still rock the Giants Hat, drive like a madman, blast Biggie, and inevitably move the fuck back home but this is still a tough step for me.

All told, Santa Monica ran a pretty tight ship on the DMV department. Much friendlier than the New York lot at least. Only issue was that they made me take the drivers test once again. Shit, this could be complicated. Luckily I flirted with the test desk woman (think 47 year old 215lb black woma with purple fingernails longer than my tibula) and she smiled while sliding me the exam "This is the easy one sweetie....". My hospitality training and boyish good looks paid off once more. I rocked the motherfucker.

So I went to a NY Giants Santa Monica Fan Club meeting at a local bar this Sunday. Wow, was it lame. There were 8 guys in a quiet bar and 1 60 year old woman wearing a Giants hat. One of the awsome fans was reading a comic book. Jessica and I were not amused. I missed going to my favorite football bar for this? After 2 Fat Tires (10am) and a few texts to The Frey it was decided we would dip at half time. I of course told a lie, something about budget season and having to go to the office......whatever, we were the hell out of there. Straight out to my favorite Football Spot on the Promenade (not that gay place Yankee Doodle for you West Side Readers - all 0 of you). Much better, it was loud I drank a bitcher of dark ass beer and cheered on the rest of the Giants' shitty ass game. As my buzz was reaching a peak I see a few of the Giants Fan Club coming into the bar staring at me. Shit. The truth, why don't I ever tell the truth! One was not amused whatssoever (Mets Jersey and yamika) while the other was like, I don't bame you bro (bald, chunky, cheery, tequila drinking Shockey Jersey wearing). After I bought a few Beam shots it was all good. Either way, stupididty sturck again.....

So Tommy, What do you think of these pictrues?

2007-10-19T03:27:00.001-04:00

Handsome Sports

2007-10-01T03:25:00.000-04:00

Yes, that is LT seconds before he snapped the living shit out of Joe Theisman's pansy ass chicken let. Spaulding> I hope you still read the blog. Know you don't though. Dick. Redskins fan, nuf said. Ha Ha, Theisman actually signed the picture......for money. He's crippled and broke.

At the HBCC sports is seldom talked about unless it is from the 2am thursday night drunk ass ramblings from Bobsled after a nasty game of UWS kickball. Bobsled had a mowhawk. LT Had a mowhawk. Not a coincidence, both are bad ass mother fuckers. I know you are like, what the fuck.....this post is all in english. Jah, I am not a master at hipsterbonics like the sled. T-Rex Giants!

Oh right sports. The New York Giants are getting full support from the HBCC on the Left here. Last monday I had a meeting with the CFO of my company and could not talk because on Sunday, i got up at 9am and double fisted through the Giants / Skins (die redskins bitches) game. He asked if I was sick, I replied "Go Giants" in a pathetic hung over whisper. Then he ordered the Tuna Tartar.

Tonight the Higantes (spanich for the housekeeping team) (not a type-o) punished the Eagles like a kitten to the red dot of a lazer pointer. Pat Pat goes the paw. Down goes McNabb. Why the extra B? Bitch perhaps? So a quick shot to the moon for the NY Giants. So Blazed......

Actually, sadly, didn't take this>>

I also saw LCD Soundsystem at the Hollywood Bowl last week. Was so blazed in the lawn seats I just sat and imagined I was in Prospect Park.........then saw a bunch of Hollywooders talking poo on NEW..............(York). Jerks.

So My boy owns a Dispensory out her in the LA. Yeah, I have a free ticket to the 'Dam every day. I usually chill there after work on fridays where inevitably I visit the volcano with some rediculous OG. Wow, blog turned from sports, to cat in sports themed garbage can, to the dreams of my highschool/college days. Seriously, thirty + types of kittens to choose from, sheesh, and edibles. Holy god it is like T-Rex finding a My Little Pony!!!!!! Watched the UCLA game there yesterday and nearly lunched. Handsome out..................................MEOW

Oh yeah, I also let one slip from the Clip the other day @ Trader Joes (farted). I was walking with my cart towards some tasty Jarlsberg Cheese and crossed the Janitors Mop Jetstream. I slid suddenly and it provoked a slight toot from ole Powderfinger (yes, a neil young / anal reference....not as bad as you think)......I was imbarassed until I realized only a 38 year old Chinese Lady/Girl *38 is a tough year* heard me. I am pretty sure I winked and walked off. I actually think I grabbed the Jarlsberg, avoided eye contact, and Heisman'd my way through the next isle. Word.

UTAHRAPTOR

2007-09-26T17:48:00.000-04:00

not sure if you've ever noticed or not, but I'm a huge fan of things that are just completely random. for instance, here I am, blogging, and I'm liable to just say...spaghetti and meatballs...for no fucking reason whatsoever.

just do it. that's nike's motto. mine is more like, it's just blogging, why be so serious all the time, or at all? it's kind of a long motto and it's more of a question that a declarative statement, but couldn't 'just do it' be interpreted as 'just do it?'

anyways, my favorite bit of randomness right now is dinosaurs. for a minute it was dragons, in honor of the most amazing movie ever made, dragon wars. but now it's talking dinosaurs. that's because my good friend clued me into these little babies over at Qwantz.com

click to ENlarge and ENjoy.
HBCC love.

still looking for that sweet pair of 11 year old oakley BMX goggles?

2007-09-21T11:25:00.001-04:00

well look no further mes hombres. these babies can be yours for just a cool ben franklin. he was never el presidente, but he was a super dope U.S. statesman, inventor, and diplomat. if only more Americans were out there gettin all Franklin-y up in this piece. we'd already have that shit renamed USraq.

anyways, weekend time is here. everybody's happy happy let's go get some crackers....ricky crackers that is:
got the low down on something super sweet? email it to whatthefuckisup@checkmeoutatthissupersweetparty.org

PS - big what's up to paris hilton who got her introduction to the HBCC wednesday night, shaking hands with the handsome one himself, or some shit like that. dude probably made that shit up anyways, but still, it's a sweet story that i've told to like no less than two people already...

(captain handsome not pictured here.)

Happy Bobsled Weekend Everyone!!

2007-09-14T11:11:00.000-04:00

from freedarko.com

HBCC Post #200 Says: Another Weekend Down the Drain

2007-09-10T11:35:00.000-04:00

anybody else have to spend sunday morning drinking a bloody and crushing some juevos rancheros at the denver airport? didn't think so.

Listen'd to G'z and Hustlaz on the way home from work tonight.....

2007-09-08T01:03:00.000-04:00

Must be the Mutha Fuckin HBCC Weekend! Football people. Men. Cool Ladies out there. Etc. So my first football Sunday here in Sweet Cali. Damn I am excited. I have joined the hordes of Jockesque Dungens and Dragons Like Men.........Yes I joined a fantasy football league. My first fantasy experment. Noone told me I would be in a draft for 3 and half hours. Christ! These dudes were serious with laptops, magazines, and tons of knowledge that I am sure held them back form sex for several weeks/months/years. I got some serious bawlers Shawn Alexander, Westbrook (fuck the eagles), Javon Walker, Shockey, Antonio Gates, and other assorted large men. Well, we'll see how this works out...........but who cares anyhow! College Saturday is already here and Sunday it's the big boys.

Seriously?

10am

The first game starts. I have been fearing this fact since moving out here. Until my good friend Judson (yes, Georgia!) told me he too had the same fears and they are not necessary. He tells me of Football California Style. 9:30 meet at the bar. A bar by the beach. Eat Waffles, drink coffee, and crush a bloody. Then the game starts at 10 and you smash beers and watch 4 games at once. Hilarity ensues. Then you watch the next games. Thoughts of nude ocean runs jump into your head. Eat nachos and possibly a fish taco. Smash more beers. By the time the football ends it is just the afternoon so you go and pass out on the beach........or take pictures of you and a friend high 5'ing like fools. Its the weekend and the Captain's Out!

Oh Yeah.......Lets Go Big Blue!

coupla jokes i've heard lately

2007-09-06T09:47:00.000-04:00

Q: what's the opposite of christopher reeve?
A: christopher walken!

Asian woman to husband in bed: "What you wan do tonight?"
Husband: "I wan 69"
Woman: "Why you always want beef with brocorri?"

Ebonics update (cause we haven't had one of those ina while): Omelette
Let's use that in a sentence: I should pop a cap in you ass for this shit, but omelette that slide for now.

Happy Friday HBCC Nation!

2007-09-01T00:16:00.000-04:00

My leftie friends here are starting to call me "Captain Comments". Do you feel this is a fair moniker? Do you have any comments on the following picture:

Adventures of Henry the HBCC Hedgehog

2007-08-29T02:26:00.000-04:00

Henry Parsons was a Hedgehog. Henry happens to be one of the baddest hogs' I have met since movin out here. I actually met Henry at a work retreat at the Luxe Hotel on Sunset but thats a different story. At first I really didn't think that much of Henry but he really turned out to be a cool cat......errr sorry hedgehog. So me and The Frey were wonderin' what to do on a Sunny Monday off in the LAAAaaaaaa. Well, I hadn't done the tourist thing since coming out here so shit, lets give that a try (Horay!).

So as we were gettin ready to load into Lequisha, Henry was like "Yo bitches, what about me". Well, hell Henry.................lets roll. To Hollywood we go!!!! After parking at the center of Middle America Tourist Bliss I get a bit excited. As we emerge from the undergarage the 90+ temperature starts to create tribute to Louisiana in my designer jeans. There is a guy dressed like The Cat in the Hat who must be very very envious of my jeans. I feel better. So not to get too sappy but we went to Mann's Chinese Theater. Henry picked out his favorite actor for a photo:

I have a nice photo of Steven Segal's square also. I will get that one up too, I know HBCC readers are rabid for a Segal Flick. Marked for death was the shit. I digress....so after a quick neslte tollhouse shop stop, watchin batman, darth vader, wonder woman, sponge bob, minnie mouse, another batman, and another wonderwoman we rolled to Griffith Park. Damn nice park I must say. A friend from West Point was golfing with some buddies and was giving us his Dodgers Tix for the night. Against the Nat's! Goooooooo DC. Holla East Coast. Game was mad fun however, the Dodger Dogs were quite disappointing. Luckily the Gordon Biersch Garlic Fries saved the day. That and a few Tall Boys. Anyhow, the Dogers won after bringing in Takashi Saito and it was the shit. That boy tossed a few 95 mile an hour heaters. Parsons was pleased...

Word, Tourist day with The Frey in LA. Oh yeah, we got some cotton candy and I rocked out some Selleck impressions..... (note Giants Hat, Down with the Redskins!)

Oh and Double yeah, here's Segal's cocky ass footprints.........what an Ass

I call litta the shitta

2007-08-27T15:47:00.000-04:00

Its been a while since we dropped some feline friccasy on ya'll. Droppen hooks with super cat on Hollywood Blvd today......then its off to Rosco's Chicken and Waffles. We'll close out the day with a little Dodgers vs Nat'nls and a flask of beam. What are you doin' out there today HBCC Land?

Funky Cat's Gonna Be Miss'n Cause Bobsled Bounced from the Griffin

2007-08-17T23:38:00.000-04:00

Holla out to the Brave one. Yes thats right friends lets give yea ole Bobsled some heart cause he pulled the trigger. Blam Blam have a nice day.... Wise beyond his days Karl has made a move. Ya'll know how hard it is to make a major life change? You see that shit in movies, on tv and in your dreams (is that a line from a journey song?) every day but have you had to do it yourself recently. I went through the grueling hell that is making life decisions. Shit even San Loco couldn't set me straight. Then blam.....you make a decision and your life changes! So here you are in your moment when you don't know what's gonna happen. All you know is you pulled the trigger. So lets all give bobsled a holla holla white boy hand pump for his efforts. Of course you should have gotten a job in the LLaaaaaaa but thats neither here nor there. This is whats here:

So I was cruising out of work today, hopped in Lequisha (Lequisha being my cars name cause- she's a black saucy ass, baby, with junk in the trunk), and started cruisin' back to my home by the beach. Kickin' it to some mad CCR......bangin on the steering wheel and shit. I was in a great mood and looking forward to OG immediatly through the door. Then it hit me......fuck, am I not as young as I think I am? I know I have had this kind of moment before but I really started to scratch my head and think about it. I looked down at my tie while at the stop light at Venice and Abby K. Wow, it may be worse than I think............

So I bought a skateboard this week. Yeah, a skateboard. You may recall just about a month ago there were some references to my 29th birthday....nevermind.....I don't know why that even came up. I also remember my first skateboard to the tiny detail (Syms Erik Nash Edition with OJ2 Street Razor Wheels, and Gullwing Tucks (lyme green and pink broken glass style grilp tape)) and I worshipped the shit out of it. Then one day I went to the pond to swim and hid it in the woods........when I came back it was gone. I was heartbroken. It was only a month old. I never bought another one and lie about its whereabouts to my parents to this day (mom still asks). Boy would it have been awsome if I had actually gotten good at skateboarding as a kid. Possibilities are endless. Anyhow, I bought a skateboard this week. Also picked up a 175g disk. Also Flew a stunt kite at the beach. And then played a bob dylan song in my car while sporting a dylanesque quaffe........I hate when I'm right. Lets blow this Joint Lequisha. It's Friday bitches!!!!

p.s. Congrats to this weeks Big Buck Hunter 2.0 Champion: Bobsled! A thrilling victory over Mr. Howard in British Colombia! Keep up the streak

here comes sunshine

2007-08-13T11:55:00.002-04:00

let's face it: way back before we were all ghostface and daft punk and pickyourownshoes, we were deadheads. patch pants wearing, mushrooming eating, hemp necklace wearing, stupid dance dancing deadheads. some of us younger than others, but all big fans nevertheless.

and as much as we (I) lament the slow and painful death of the jamband scene, there's no denying that slipping on an occasional Dick's Picks or Live Phish CD feels pretty damn good.

so, many THANKS to the peoples at Passion of the Weiss, The for serving up this tasty heady gooball nugget from 1973 (my favorite shit, with the Godchaux team in full effect, Keith - you the man, RIP; Donna Jean - wtf sometimes, really). (click and follow the above link to DL)

setlist reads like a gem:

Denver Coliseum, Denver, CO (11/21/73)
Me and My Uncle
Sugaree
Jack Straw
Big Railroad Blues
Mexicali Blues
They Love Each Other
Looks Like Rain
Here Comes Sunshine
Big River
Brokedown Palace
WRS Prelude
WRS Part 1
Let It Grow

Mississippi Half-Step
Playing in the Band
El Paso
Playing in the Band
Wharf Rat
Playing in the Band
Morning Dew
Truckin'
Nobody's Fault But Mine
Goin' Down the Road Feeling Bad
One More Saturday Night

Uncle John's Band

ENJOY AND SEND THANKS THE PASSION OF THE WEISS

Dear Daft Punk,

2007-08-10T10:31:00.001-04:00

Fuck you. I love you. KThnksBye

Missin' the Shakey Shake

2007-08-10T02:59:00.000-04:00

So fuck me, i have been waiting for a true California disaster since moving out here. There was a nice little bursh fire that was pretty entertaining a few months ago by the Hollywood sign and thats it. Till last night........Around 1am there was a nice little 4.6 shaker. Finally some seriouis So Cal excitement. And I slept right through the whole damn thing. Didn't even feel a fart under the sheets last night. WTF, I have been waiting for a quaker and I sleep right through it. How big a rumbler do you think I would sleep through? Imagine if I wake up this morning and find the city lookin like an episode of 24?! Damn that would be sweet!

To add insult to injury I get texts, calls, emails from friends and family excitedly inquiring about the little earth indigestion. No no, I'm safe. Everyone seemed a bit disappointed.......God Damn I miss good ole East Coast Folks!

pardon our motherfck!n dust motherfck3rs

2007-08-05T15:25:00.000-04:00

sup cleaning up the ole boy. maybe the HBCC ain't so dead after all. maybe it's just on life support. like me. after running the NYC half marathon this morning.

know what sucks about the iPod shuffle? when NAS comes on at mile 6. WHO'S WORLD IS THIS?!! oh, wait, we still got 8 more miles to go. fuck me.

whatever, in the meantime, if you like the layout, leave a comment. or don't. even if you don't you should still watch. this is mel. mel is the pitcher for our travel kickball tourney team:

Ha Ha

2007-08-02T00:47:00.001-04:00

Bobsled has a crush on Annie

RIP Hamilton, RIP Van Winkle

2007-08-01T18:02:00.001-04:00

something happens when you spend almost every weekend on the road. little things in your life somehow fall through the cracks. imperceptible cracks, until you've realized, "hey, i think i've lost something." or that feeling you inevitably have every time you travel - you're certain you've forgotten something.

that something ended up being the HBCC. not just the HBCC. my entire life looks something like Orachard street did just yesterday:

(don't fret handsome, they're just filming one of them motion picture things)

But yeah, the HBCC sorta took a nosedive. there was all sorts of funny stuff when we were in the same city hanging out. (well, at least to us there was) now there's funny stuff, but it's just over IM. probably not a bad idea to start posting some of those IM conversations just for the F of it. butt....maybe not

not only has traveling occupied a huge chunk of my time, but my love of kickball has eaten just about the rest of it. we put together a great team of kids to play in a tournament in the home of Freedom, aka DC, and we represented our country and the NYC in fine fashion. that's all i'm really gonna get into right now, but here's a photo of what went on...

(not really handsome, but its our blog and i'll brag about made up stuff if i want to, yeah?)

my parents came to visit the city one weekend. here's a photo of my mom with a storm trooper nerd:

(she was mortified, but i knew a good photo opp when i saw it)

made the trip to Portland a few weeks back. it's beautiful out there and the city has a really great vibe, with cool people and lush greenery, golf courses, mountains, all that shit you don't get here in NYC. something like this...

(we should get out to play golf some time handsome)

and then there's LA county...

burning brightly on the coast. your new home. Annie from OK's summer intern spot. for some reason i just can't seem to get it out of my head: all the good times out in LA county. the beaches, the food, the palm trees, the vader, the women...oh ma god, let me tell you the women. let's just say, i won't go in-to the details. the hot tub, the cubans, the vader, the beer, the eddy, the hollywood, the jimi tapes, the "you could be mine" trips through the corridor

its been all too much. too much to put into words and way too much to write on the blog. it's all a bit overwhelming really. maybe some day i'll get better at this blogging thing and write more frequently about all the cool stuff that happens to me, as it happens. but for now i've done a shite job and all i can do is sit back and think about it.

RIP Bobsled Commando

2007-07-29T00:37:00.000-04:00

God Rest his soul. I am all alone and my shitty american ass computer won't upload photo's to boot. When it rains it pours.....in NY. Luckily I have taken some time away from the computer. I have experienced new things. I bought a bike. I blacked out on the beach. Presently I am also in training as the greatest beach paddle ball player ever born in Richmond, VA. Since my last post I have also learned the joy of the Fish Taco. Previously I was beefiffied. Now, fish me up motherfucker. Shaq was in my office on Thursday. No, really. He barely fit. A kitten was adopted for a day or two. That is until he tried to eat my pool ducks (Mr. and Mrs. Mallard). A new Thai massage place opened up accross from my apartment. It is right next to the Rogue Status store. Spend a whole motherfuckin day on that corner is what the man said. Vader Kush has made himself known....then unknown. Finally went to the Whiskey A Go-Go. Not a bad place. I pissed in the bathroom trash can out of respect for the metal past that has done the same for some 30 years now. Yes, I drank whiskey. No I didn't drive home. Not well anyhow. Went to an indian casino.........ran into a friend from JMU in VA. Wow, i thought he must be a loser as he was hanging out at an indian casino. he thought i must have been in one of the stage acts that evening at the casino (Linda Rondstat / Bruno Machavelli's Magic Comedy show).....or not. Turned 29. Bought a skateboard........wow, quarter life crisis. kiss my ass, i live in venice bitches. Still listenin' to Ready to Die then Wheezer back to back. Spent $150.00 on a dinner for just me in Santa Monica. Brook Burke sat next to me. Her husband is a fat european slob. Why? Fired someone at work for sexual harassment. That was fun. Mediated a fight between two mexican laundry attendants. Learning to box......lethal mother fucker. Conviced some black out drunk guy to pay El Jeffe and my bar tab. Then met a girl that got dosed for the first time. She was a 35 year old lesbian. Swear to god, best night out here. Picked Bobsled up at LAX for a 2.5 hour layover>drank tequilla (4 shots/marg) with some insane dude at a mex restaruant> drove to my place> vader kush> jacuzzi and Cuban's> Biggie (2nd reference) back to the airport> by bobsled. Best night out here #2. Don't you wish I could post pictures instead of rambling on. Either way, kiss my ass. you win. i'm out. peace

2007-07-08T01:17:00.001-04:00

Enjoy your weekend hanging out with a bunch of Chachki's in some crowded bar..........

American Bobsled in London

2007-06-26T19:11:00.000-04:00

(bite your fucking tongue before you start to make a fergie joke...)

sup everyone. your commando is off on special assignment right now, but i've taken a few pictures that give you a feel of the local flavor without disclosing my top secret location. shhhhhhhhh.

miss you all back in the states. i'm blasting my stones throw podcast and drinking johnnie walker green label (only $46 at newark duty free!) so as to not miss you too too much, but its hard. and not cause i'm watching porn like three times a day. sup stamina.

things are just super here. the language is much easier to learn than say french or spanish, so that's cool. and no i haven't had fish and chips yet, but i've still got five days to go.

that being said, its late here so lemme leave you with some photos....(annnnddd, this is news to who?)

(fellas fellas, i put my pants on the morning, one leg at a time, just like you....except, when i do, i make gold records)

(if the colenol finds out, he's going to be PISSED)

Ahhh The Weekend......Go Steal Some Shit!

2007-06-23T00:12:00.000-04:00

[Verse One:]

My man Inf left a Tec and a nine at my crib

Turned himself in, he had to do a bid

A one-to-three, he be home the end of '93

I'm ready to get this paper, G, you with me?

Motherfucking right, my pocket's looking kind of tight

and I'm stressed, yo Biggie let me get the vest

No need for that, just grab the fucking gat

The first pocket that's fat the Tec is to his back

Word is bond, I'm a smoke him yo don't fake no moves (what?)

Treat it like boxing: stick and move, stick and move

Nigga, you ain't got to explain shit

I've been robbing motherfuckers since the slave ships

with the same clip and the same four-five

Two point-blank, a motherfucker's sure to die

That's my word, nigga even try to bogart

have his mother singing "It's so hard..."

Yes, love love you're fucking attitude

because the nigga play pussy that's the nigga that's getting screwed

and bruised up from the pistol whipping

webs on the neck from the necklace stripping

Then I'm dipping up the block and I'm robbing bitches too

up the herring bones and bamboos

I wouldn't give fuck if you're pregnant

Give me the baby rings and a #1 MOM pendant

I'm slamming niggaz like Shaquille, shit is real

When it's time to eat a meal I rob and steal

'cos Mom Duke ain't giving me shit

so for the bread and butter I leave niggaz in the gutter

Huh, word to mother, I'm dangerous

Crazier than a bag of fucking Angel Dust

When I bust my gat motherfuckers take dirt naps

I'm all that and a dime sack, where the payback?

[Verse Two:]

Big up, big up, it's a stick up, stick upand I'm shooting niggaz quick if you hiccup

Don't let me fill my clip up in your back and head piece

The opposite of peace sending Mom Duke a wreath

You're talking to the robbery expert

Stepping to your wake with your blood on my shirt

Don't be a jerk and get smoked over being resistant

'cos when I lick shots the shits is persistent

Huh, goodness gracious the papers

Where the cash at? Where the stash at?

Nigga, pass that before you get your grave dug

from the main thug, .357 slug

And my nigga Biggie got an itchy one grip

One in the chamber, 32 in the clip

Motherfuckers better strip, yeah nigga peel

before you find out how blue steel feel

from the Beretta, putting all the holes in your sweater

The money getter motherfuckers don't have better

Rolex watches and colourful Swatches

I'm digging in pockets, motherfuckers can't stop it

Man, niggaz come through I'm taking high school rings too

Bitches get stripped down for they earrings and bangles

and when I rock her and drop her I'm taking her door knockers

And if she's resistant "baka! baka! baka!

"So go get your man bitch he can get robbed too

Tell him Biggie took it, what the fuck he gonna do?

I hope apologetic or I'm a have to set itand if I said it

the cocksucker won't forget it

[Verse Three:]

Man, listen all this walking is hurting my feet

But money looks sweet (where at?) in the Isuzu jeep

Man, I throw him in the Beem, you grab the fucking C.R.E.A.M

and if he start to scream "bam! bam!", have a nice dream

Hold up, he got a fucking bitch in the car

Fur coats and diamonds, she thinks she a superstar

Ooh Biggie, let me jack her, I kick her in the back

Hit her with the gat...

Yo chill, Shorty, let me do that...

Just get the fucking car keys and cruise up the block

The bitch act shocked, getting shot on the spot

(Oh shit! The cops!) Be cool, fool

They ain't gonna roll up, all they want is fucking doughnuts

(So why the fuck he keep looking?) I guess to get his life tooken

I just came home, ain't trying to see Central Booking

Oh shit, now he looking in my face

You better haul ass 'cos I ain't with no fucking chase

So lace up your boots, 'cos I'm about to shoot

A true motherfucker going out for the loot

that's how it is, that's how its gonna be, kidz when you grow up, who the fuck you wanna be?

2007-06-19T03:21:00.000-04:00

i gotta say whats up to my man on handsome island (leemme hold that) for showing me the most amazing time on sunday, to his girl for be supa down with my incoherent ramblings, to his girl's girl for being super hot and hanging out with me, to the pool for bein cool and the hot tub for bein you, for la fiesta burrito and fish taco, but moreso to campos tacos for bein the shit, to venice beach for bein the best...around, for the waves for crashin right where i could body surf a minute, to America flag towels and all of the tourists, and to PEGLEG NYC for that fucking amazing TANK OF DESTRUCTION pictured above and to REED SPACE NYC for selling that shit to me.....

words can't describe the kinna day we had. one.

The Most Annoying Converstion in the World

2007-06-16T02:22:00.000-04:00

Imagine hearing the worst conversation of your life over and over and over. Each time you hear it, it gets worse than the time before it. Ladies and gentlmen, this is now my life. I realized it on both my flight to New York and again on way back from New York. It was harken of the scene at the slovenly shrinks office in Office Space (Each day is the worst day in my life.....insert Ron Livingston looking like Mick Fleetwood after intercourse). This conversation is of course "The LA Conversation".

This is the worst conversation on Earth. Imagine yourself as a lap dog. Remember the first time you watched The Sound of Music with either your mother or 6th grade music teacher. Be Stephen Segal's Agent. All of the above embody my anxiety and hatred every time I hear this conversation.

I have listened to this exact same fucking converstion since I moved out here. Nearly every fucking single fucking day. I love it out here, but this is the 1 ( I mean #1) thing that will drive me to start a brush fire. Right next to that goddamn Sign.........So I bet you know what is coming but let me get to the crux of this fair nothing. I was on my flight to New York, sitting next to a 45 year old man with a nipple ring, and reading a hipster book (f-u i know you are thinking I am a cliche junkie for reading Chuck Klosterman on a flight to JFK). In a chapter entitled "The Sixth Day" Chuckie talks about the LA Conversation. Set at the pool of the Standard Hotel a no personality cheesefart waiter starts blabbing to some rockstar at his table wherein we learn of his desire to model, write, publish, network, party, infer coccaine use, party with B-listers at AREA, and move to Silver Lake because of the rocking grunge art scene.

Hearing someone else document the exact same conversation you have wanted to commit Sepuku to on a daily basis was very refreshing. I mean he hit the damn conversation word for goddamn word. Yeah I blasphamizeded but I believe the big man was behind me on the subject matter. This conversation most definitly was first started in Haites.........

After a refreshing weekend in the 'Hattan (and Jersey!) I was actually looking forward to the dry Japanese Farts blowing in from the pacific.........Until I heard IT! Behind me sat a 45 year old man dressed in Vans, designer jeans, a black button up with flames on it, sport coat, hair like boby dylan and a face that looked like Quentin Terrantino morphed with Bill Murry. He struck up a conversation with a 21 year old who grew up in Scranton, PA > Mooved to a DC suburb in Maryland before going to school for acting, getting finance from Pops, moved to the Valley, takes acting classes, gets head shots, networks, works in a muffin ship in West Los Angeles (insert hairless men wearing daisy dukes with rainbow patches on the backleft butt cheek), goes to parties, see's the guy from star treck at The Grove, met Jessica Alba, and is not pulling her amazing contacts until the right moment where she will thus launch her career.

5 Fucking Hours of this after 6 hours of flight delays! I only wished I was on the short end of Uma's Kill Bill Character's (note, not informed enough or well researched enough to remember her characters name) wish list. I have heard this conversation again today at work. I hear it every day. LA Bullshit Terrorism...........................You should be glad you don't live here......

Yo, on a different note, check out my new Air Jordan 1's Retro West Side Addition:

WESTSIDEEEEEE

stop me if you've heard this one already...

2007-06-08T15:01:00.001-04:00

HAPPY WEEKEND!!!!

LOVE, THE REUNITED (FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY) HBCC

MUY CALIENTE!

2007-06-06T13:37:00.001-04:00

hi, HBCC is easily amused.

usually i find the fire packets from taco bell to be kinda stupid, but the third one from the right (second from the left) in that picture there...well, it cause me to laugh out loud (LOL) today.

i can't exactly figure out why it did. also, the second one from the right (third one from the left) about films: that one reminded me of Handsome out there in Venice, just down the road from Studio City and occassionally going home to his new beau who starred in a film.

jesus christmas - does this mean that the HBCC is one degree separation from famous people now? this could be the break we've been looking for...

oh, and if you're keeping score at home, i had a steak grilled stuffed burrito for lunch. IT WAS FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC MOTHAFUCKAS!!! (said like samuel jackson)

quit tryin to save my soul, i wanna roll with my homies

2007-06-05T13:50:00.001-04:00

know how girls are always so freaking good at making invitations, plans, girly stuff that screams, "we're like totally having a party!!"? the hbcc isn't as good at it as they are...

but, as the above photoshop masterpiece indicates, our good friend tom is coming to town. for all the drinking you can imagine on a thursday night. And then leaving us for jersey. And then coming back to us like to prodigal handsome for another day/night of how much drinking can you handle on a sunday. VineyardGate '06 Stilo...

HBCC. power. POWER. the liver pep talk is vital this week. liver pep talk and game plan. both will be necessary. neither are in place, as of yet. but like the last time i packed for a 10-day trip, i will wait until the last minute to do everything and then completely fukitup only to have things turn out okay. if you've got any leads on something freaking awesome going on thursday night, please let us know.by the way, who watched the sopranos on sunday? how freaking funny was the part where the guy on the motorcycle got run over?! as you may have noticed here, we're a big fan of non-sequiturs and things that are completely random and unrelated. and so the painfully obvious scene of the guy on the motorcycle (which looks very similar to the one above. it also looks very similar to my uncle bobsled who loves do-rags (or is it dew-rags?)) which had no bearing on the episode whatsoever (for those of you who haven't seen it) made me laugh out loud during an episode which otherwise had me not laughing out loud, but clutching my blanky very, very tight.

THANKS SOPRANOS.

i make a party of all lefties leave em screamin out all right

2007-06-01T09:44:00.001-04:00

Cat Friday Just Keeps Rolling Along

HTFO. I'm not sure how much sense I'll make with this post - I'm not entirely confident I've made any sense at all for the last 12 hours or so - but i'll take a shot at it and let's see how it comes out.

So we have a few choice phrases around the kickball way that add a little je ne sais quoi to the dialect, in particular to the messageboards that we so dearly love. Anyways, there's another dude who came up with all our code language, if you will, but if you try hard enough, you can use it to.

One such phrase which accurately depicts my feelings this morning is HTFO: Hung The Fuck Over. This follows a night of my team forfeiting and then some binge drinking and then me going home and Pasing The Fuck Out (PTFO).

Seriously. I feel bad for anyone I might have breathed on on the subway, cause I know my breath smells like a bar floor after someone puked on it - not that i puked last night; I just didn't eat any dinner so there is absolutely nothing preventing the slowly (and painfully) still digesting beer (along with a shot of Jack and a shot of Patron) from making its way from my guts to my mouth in like zero flat.

The worst part is that I just ate a breakfast sandwich and I think that's making the room spin again. HTFO Fridays, Self-Improvement Saturdays, Self-Loathing Sundays. HBCC. One

Bring on Year #2

2007-05-30T02:19:00.001-04:00

oh yeah, and check out this creative Graffiti by my apt........

jimmys diggin cats

2007-05-25T17:23:00.000-04:00

friday is cat day, remember? REMEMBER?

anyways, you didn't think we'd just send you off into the weekend without a little more cats, did you? this one is an ode the show that helps me kill at least an hour every night. seriously, why don't they just rename discovery channel 'deadliest catch channel'? oh sure, there's other beauties like myth busters and man v. wild (BEAR!? sup my nikka) and, um, oh shark week and don't they have a week dedicated to volcanos?

who cares about that. all i want to hear is mike rowe make sweet love to my eardrums while gruff dudes scour the bering straits in search of that orange gold. (so cheezy)okay, bobsled out. happy fucken weekend hbcc, and tune in tomorrow or some time over the weekend as handsome weighs in with a very special one year anniversary post that is sure to have you in tears or seizures. PEACE

Another Cat Photo for the Weekend

2007-05-25T00:49:00.000-04:00

POWERS........THE DUNE KITTEN

RRRREEEEOOOOWWWWWW

ima pay one day, just not right now

2007-05-24T16:40:00.001-04:00

whats happening world? tired of all the cat photos here? i didn't think so.

first thing first for the NYC peeps: Travis America is performing live next week and it is your duty as an American with a capitol 'A' to come out and see him bring it.
TRAVIS MCGEE & THE REVELERS
May 30th, 2007
9PM
105 Eldridge Street
Between Broome and Grand Streets
LES b.itches

second, i've decided to grow a mustache. yeah, i know, that was hott like a few months ago and now its not, but i don't care. i march to the beat of a bobsled drummer (feel the rhythm!!) and if i want to grow my first mustache, then damnit i am. besides, handsome is coming to town on june 7th, so i need to be ready

third 'still not a player' just came on my office computer. i'm blasting it right
"hot tub! poppin bubbly" you know you're singing it
four i'm embarassed and just turned it down

five kickball tonight. psyched. and its not a frat, handsome, you fucking jerk

six i'm out of possibly amusing tidbits. maybe something will come to me
nope
okay
wait....
no, okay, that's it, i've got nothing
....
no you hang up
no you hang up
i love you
love you
weird
HBCC

A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown

2007-05-23T14:50:00.000-04:00

So while my colleague is out spying on homeless people in his backyard and getting ready for the long hard road ahead, i've been enjoying the summer kickball style. adult kickball style. not adult like adult movies, but adults like grown ups enjoying a game we all used to rage on in third grade. and then going out to the bar afterwards, getting competely wasted like we used to in college and then making out in some kind of incestuous drunken orgy more akin to what we all enjoyed in high school (or what the greeks probably enjoyed in the greek ages except with less gay sex and sex in public). the only thing is a fascinating study in regression really, but my therapist says its helping me connect with my inner child, the one who didn't get nintendo even though like every other kid on the entire freaking block had one....JEEZ mom and dad.

anyways, we're talkin about kickball. i mean, kickball, i'm talking about kickball. my team is called the hammers. seriously. in a league where another team is called "john stamos is our dad", we're a bunch of tools. but, at least we're like the manliest of the manly tools. hammers hit shit and help mold the world. (well, maybe the latter can be said about stamos also, but that's for another discussion). im thinking this team name was like a default name or something, like john doe or username or

we have a messageboard for the league which i occassionally drop in on. now i wasn't always really into messageboards, but apparently you have to have sweeeeeet avatar. here's mine:see what i mean? sweetness. nothing can't touch the old hammer. unfortunately there's only like three classic shots of hammer in google images, so there wasn't much to choose from. but i think i done pretty good with this one here.

the big debate is: how much of a pussy are you for bunting in kickball? because, see, there's a rule that prevents you from charging a bunt until its been kicked, and its pretty much impossible to just throw people out at first, so a bunt is a sure way of getting on. so is it cheating? or using the rules to your advantage? and do you care if all the people you're playing against think you have a sticky, slimy vertical taco that hasn't been shaved in years cause you like to bunt....more to come on this

Grandpa's Got the Beer Goggles on Again

2007-05-22T01:24:00.000-04:00

Just watching some wonderful Monday evening TV and a particular commercial caught my attention. Cialis.....you know, the boner pill. They were going over things to do or not do while taking the pharmaceutical hard on maker and I caught something funny. It says to not drink alcohol while taking Cialis. At first I was thinking that maybe the medicine would mix with the pill and cause a major medical problem or something. You know what, I think that is wrong. I think that they are scared that the already haven't fucked in 23 years crowd has enough on their hands with a brand new bonestick. In their test subjects they found the men would hardly keep thier hands off most ladies. Add in Booze to the mix (yes i highlighted Booze.....its a respect thing) and grandpa might be taking down something even he wouldn't want to.

Just a thought.........

Captain America is Handsome

2007-05-21T03:34:00.000-04:00

I can't think of anything to write so I will just dictate the ramblings of the self defecating homeless man yelling outside my window:

"Fuck....Who the fuck?!?!?

grumblings of squander and insanity.......

You cock sucking fucker, Fuck you"

Get back here.!!!!! (somthing that i couldn't understand should be inserted here. I don't believe it was english)

Cock Sucker........scream.....scream.....yellll and finish with a moan"

That was an actual ranting from a real Venice Beach Insanobum about 3 minutes ago. You can't make this stuff up folks. I literally have to listen to this crap on almost a nightly basis. The homeless out here are of a different breed that I am used to. The New York Bums are much better behaved. I mean Big Apple Bums really understand their level of bummitude, go about their day happily eating halal cart leftovers, and sleep peacefully on the steps of http://www.sip-sak.com/. Note, this is a reference to my ole local homeless lady from the hatten that would drink 3-4 tall boys, pee herself and sleep peacefully at the "Sak". Incidentally, they serve up some pretty solid Turkish food if you are ever in the Turtle Bay Neighborhood. Incidentally x2, kiss my ass - I heard your cocky hipster laced comments over there Brooklyn!

Unlike the well groomed hatten bums, Insanobum outside my window is anything but well behaved. Noooooo, he doesn't think he is a bum.....shit, he thinks he is some sort of 2 Live-Crew Aristotle. He isn't the only one either. The bums out here think they need to share the infinate whisdom that helped secure their place in this wonderful world. Sweet, as I am writing this some skaters just got into a shouting match with the bum. Who the hell needs Time Warner (bastards)! This is not just a random occurance either. I hear this shit many nights a week. The best is when I have someone over and the bums start up......the look on their faces is classic. Anyhow, I got noting else. I didn't even really ever have this to be honest. Damn! I am going to go watch the bums pee on the dumpster outside of my window. Check out my view:

you must be another handsome boy graduate

2007-05-18T12:11:00.001-04:00

HANDSOME BOBSLED ORIGINAL: CATS OFF CAPE NANFUCKET

really slow day at work today

i wanna make this funky for you

2007-05-18T09:20:00.001-04:00

HANDSOME BOBSLED ORIGINAL: INTRODUCING BIG CAT HEAD

Friday is for cats
you can't tell me thats
no true, boo
me, you, your cousin too
stealin lines
bitin rhymes
sittin at work
wastin time
cats on bodies
bobsled freakin hotties
handsome, captain
la, la, la
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND
blah blah blah

my best friend stephen at the home depot

2007-05-18T00:50:00.000-04:00

yeah, s'been a while since i posted. but since i drank a shitload of beer tonight and i made out with a random girl adn now im listeing to grateful dead adn wathing whacked out sports on tv, i figured id way in with a little photo fo something fhit. shit fuck fshit fudkc fushit fuvck fudsk;aj f;inaisn; shit i'm drink

MIA in LA n' NYC

2007-05-10T16:49:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Bobsled and I are presently recentering ourselves through an extensive Yoga and Scientology Program. Oh yeah.......I also have no internet at my apt as the guy I was stealing it from just moved. I miss the hatten'........there were just soooo many optinons for stealing internet. Guess I should evolve to LA life and just start stealing cars.....

California Voodoo - Now With Air Conditioning

2007-04-16T18:13:00.000-04:00

Hotel Cafe, not really a name that you would associate with a night out raging to some crazy music is it? Well I do now. Last week I finally found an old friend's number who lives out here in the LAaaaa and gave him a shout out. He suggested I meet up with him at the Hotel Cafe as Tom Morello was doing an accustic set under the name "The Night Watchman". Diggity, lets check out some music, I haven't done shit out here and was in need for something, anything to sustain my musical needs. $10 at the door and I was in for the show. Hotel Cafe is pretty much in the center of Hollywood Hell. I nearly ran over 2 bums, and a flock of gay Mexican's with cowboy hats while circling the block looking for parking. The cronotons did not make the situation any safer for the booze filled pedestrians. Took me a minute to get into the place as it has a false front that faces the street but you have to go around back through this alley to get into the joint. Layout was pretty hot, there was a small bar with an ajoining cafe room as you enter the Club. The lighting was dim, the walls were of exposed brick, and swaths of red velvet hung about. I was in some sort of Musical Narnia. To the back of the room were two double swinging doors that led to the "venue".

A Kettle Rocks with a Beam Back greeted me and quickly ushered me into the show. Tom was already playing an accustic Bulls on Parade as I entered. He was thrashing about as if he was playing with Rage or Audio.. but it was just him and his shitty little guitar with Nylon strings. I was taken back at first but found it to be highly entertaining. Tom was very jovial and was dressed like Stanly Spadowski as he MC'd the event between songs. Tom ended his set and stated that we were in for a treat as he had some special guests for the evening. We were all a bit confused and curious who it could be. At this point someone identified Zack Delaroca (former lead singer for Rage) in the crowd. Everyone was all pumped. At this point let me comment on the crowd. There were about 200 - 250 of us in this tiny little venue and everyone of us was partying. This was one of the best small venue crowds I have had the pleasure of being a part of. Lot of screaming and heckling Tom, who love it and threw it back in all of their faces. There was serious energy in the room. I couldn't help thinking that this was a fun little night out and hoped I might recognize one of the guests...........well, I did.

As Tom finished his set he made fun of some hecklers before introducing his first guest of the evening. When Ben Harper was introduced the place went nuts. Now, I am not the hugest fan of Ben or the slower music per se but to see him unexpectedly at this small venue was surely hot. He belted out about 4 tunes that sounded pretty amazing. I had seen him at festivales (pronounced fes-tiv-ahl-ees) and it was notably different hearing him wail in this small little room. Not bad, I knew a guest. yay. So Ben finished up and Tom announced there were several more guests to come. Word? Word! Tom introduced the next band: Extreme. It was rediculous, some 80's hair band was now taking the stage. I could not stop my laugher. They played an exectric set that included some Zeppelin Tunes and after much begging by Tom Morello closed with a rousing "Get the Funk Out". I am not going to say that this was any real musical moment for me but it was pretty damn fun to be bouncing around the place to 80's metal. Incidentally, the guitarist Nuno Bettencourt was pretty sick. After Extreme's set Alice and Chains was announced to be taking the stage. Everyone was calling beniecles to this and none took it seriously. Until the entire band backed onto this tiny stage to play an accusitc set. I am again not a huge fan but this was actually the shit seeing them just come out and blow everyone's head off. They played some favorites (i.e "Down in a Hole") and then Tom got on stage, asked them to plug in and played a nasty few songs with the band. This was probably the best part of the whole evening.......accept for what happened next.

So Tom decided he wanted every damn person on the stage for the final few songs. It took the crew 15 minutes to actually all get onstage, plugged in and find enough room to stand/play. The whole process was very laughable. Tom Morello announced that the kids in the front sitting a the few small cafe tables in front of the stage had to get the hell up. This would prove helpful for me in the coming minutes. So after everyone was packed on stage, Tom invited up the final guest to the stage. B-Real! Yeah, that guy from Cypress Hill. He was sooo tore up when he came on the stage. Someone asked him to tell a joke and his reply was "I got no jokes but have some serious Cronic!" and everyone busted into Rock Superstar. It was fun as hell. The small crowd exploded and I started jumping around like some white wanna be gangster. B-Real acknowleged my bog hit motion to him several times but never broke stride. After the tune he said he was gonna freestyle for a bit which was very out of character for him. He laid down some lyrics but was obviously too blazed to really tear it up. At this point I pretended to tie my showe and stuck my head under one of the vacated tables to kiss the cats. Wow, it helped. They continued to play "Kill a Man" and finally "Hits from the Bong>Insane in the Membrane". This shit was soo much fun. None of the bands were my favorite but the whole experience was one of the best. Noone knew what was going to happen and inevitably the roof lifted off the motherfucker. The show ended by everyone clearing out quickly with a few of us lazy asses stayed to have another beer at the back bar. That turned out to be a good move as I got to hang out with all the guys that just performed.

Overall, this was one of the most fun music shows I have been to in recent history. It really summed up what the fuck it is that they do out here in the Hollywood. Rock is still alive and kicking. Anyhow, I hear that this same type of show will happen the next 3 Tuesday's at the Hotel Cafe so if you are out here in the Laaaaaaa, Check It Out. It is all for a good name in raising $$ for the homeless and is sponsored by Axis of Justice. Look how blazed B-Real looks even on my shitty little camera phone....

its my birth(f)day and i'll rap if i want to

2007-04-11T11:20:00.000-04:00

April 11th, the most important day in my life. It's a beautiful day here in NYC, hope the same can be said where you're at.

A little Wednesday afternoon rap courtesy of MF Doom. AND!!!! the first HBCC MP3 share (at least, I hope I did this right) Enjoy and don't resell it or any of that other stuff that might get us in trouble or detract from income for incredible artists...

One of my favorite verses in print, cause it's my birthday and i'll post rap lyrics if i want to:

How Doom hold heat, and preach non-violence?
Shhh, he 'bout to start the speech, c'mon, silence
On one scary night, I saw the light
Heard a voice that sound like Barry White said "Sure you're right"
Don't let me find out who tried to bite
They better off goin to fly a kite in a firefight
during tornado time with no coat then I caught ya
Wrote the book on rhymes, a note from the author
With no headshot, he said it's been a while
Got a breadwinner style to get a inner child up in to smile
And that's no exaggeration
The doctor told a patient "It's all in your imagination negro"
Ahh, what do he know?
About the buttery flow, he need to cut the ego
Trippin, to date the Metal Fellow been rippin flows
since New York plates was ghetto yellow with broke blue writing
This is too exciting
Folks leave out the show feelin truly enlightened
They say "The Villain been spittin enough lightning
to rock shock the Boogie Down to Brighton," aight then

Listen: Raid - MF Doom featuring Medaphoar
Buy: Madvillainy

James Dean of the Bobsled Team

2007-04-07T19:18:00.000-04:00

Who The Fuck Said Smoking Isn't Cool?????

Once Again Bobsled Reinvents Slick

While Puffin' On A Cancer Stick

Then He Pulled This Shit...............

Stuff it in your Easter Basket and Smoke it. More pictures of Bobsled in Venice to come.

YAY

HAPPY EASTER

2007-04-06T21:12:00.000-04:00

Ole Handsome here trying to get out of work on the holiest of fridays. Again, I am fucked by the internet gods and am awaiting internet at the apt so you will have go get by with only Bobsled (who has been on fire lately......my opinion, certainly not fact) and a quick catpost from work. I got a whole roll of hot beef for you so keep checkin back and you may catch an injection.......Enjoy the beach, peace to y'all back east:

Easter is dedicated to LA's most common profession. God Told Me SO!

shame on you when you step through to

2007-04-04T12:25:00.000-04:00

and the alabama feline award for most best dressed human goes to kathy strickland of tuscaloosa

What a freaking CA hangover right now. S'all rainy and gloomy here in NYC right now. But I got out to check out this band, Merit, last night at Arlene's Grocery and they made it quite alright to be back here in the city. 'Cuse kids always up to no good. All kinds of Nada Surf and Sonic Youth influences, imho. If it hadn't been for the bass players brand spanking new white pumas (sorry dude, you rocked though), I could have convinced myself it was Nineteen Ninety Somethingorather.

Check them out at Pianos in May if you live in the city. If you don't, peep the Myspace and tell them how much you need them in YOUR town (San Diego State University, I see you checking in, sup).

saw this in LAX. god people freak me out

A couple of observations on TV: Deadliest catch is back at it. Read our ode to Mike Rowe, also host of Dirtiest Jobs. Anyways, before me and the Senor hit up the aforementioned show, we sat on the couch to hang with the Dan K. and watch a little of the tube. But it quickly became apparent that we had something of a dilemma on our hands. See, two dudes, hanging out, small NYC apartment, one couch, kinna awkward, kinna not. Gotta throw on some SportsCenter to get the Testosterone in the room flowing, right?

Except, to my dismay, I flip on ESPiN and find…women’s basketball?! WTF?! So, here’s the question: two dudes, hanging out, is it okay to watch women’s basketball (even though they suck) cause it’s the principle of having ESPiN on? Or are there sometimes when its just not acceptable for dudes to be watching ESPiN and instead should watch My Super Sweet 16 on MTV or The Agency on VH1? (I KNOW some of you know what I’m talking about)

Shit, so I think we watched deadliest catch, then maybe, um, I don’t even know. I was barely even alive for the show when we finished that little session.

get high

Being that’s its Wednesday, take some time to read up on what some of the people who give us love from time to time:
Travis McGee & The Revelers
Passion of the Weiss
Velvet Sea
You Look Really Great
Bourbon Samurai
Misguided Misadventures in NYC
Low Concept
R2K
Down With Detroit
this is what we do now

Also, check the myspace page cause we post completely different nonsense to that sometimes too. THANKS

Reunited and it feels so good

2007-04-02T10:32:00.000-04:00

Handsome Beach, Captain Commando

a poem:

hertz one way rental
vegas to L-A
15 up and over mountains
the 10 to end the day

handsome west coast livin
bobsled visit for the 'kend
dude lives two blocks from the beach
and like a million taco stands

kicked at a club friday night
ladies were all so uptight
saturday drank at the 4100 club
then smoked on the way home, just right

now i'm back in nyc
handsome's chillin on his own again
but we'll be back together in april
to bring you more shenanigans

until then...

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 4

2007-03-30T03:30:00.000-04:00

tonight i got to have dinner at a place called pampas at the former aladdin casino and hotel, now the planet hollywood casino and hotel. sort of a trend in the opposite direction of things in vegas becoming more sophisticated. but dinner was a brazilian steak place, where they freaking bring you meat and more meat and more meat and more meat and a jamesons and a glass of red wine and chicken and sausage and red wine and jamesons and water and i've gotta go.

the theory that i came up with today is this: when you come to vegas, you find a lot of really nice shops in places like the venetian and ceasar's palace. places you might find on 5th avenue or rodeo drive. the problem is, these places are much more easily accessible than the aformentioned locations. so you have the kenneth coles and bcbgs and other nice desinger shops i can't recall now being frequented by the guy with the tucked in reebok t-shirt and dewalt racing hat from arkansas. it's nice...it's just frequented by dirtballs. and therein is the paradox that is las vegas.

anyways, vegas at night is beautiful. really. my favorite movie memory of vegas has to be the end scene of ocean's eleven (the george clooney version) where they are all standing in front of the bellagio watching the lake and then one by one walk off. there is just something about it that captures the beauty of vegas that it might actually be if you were to bomb all the tourists with their gigantic test-tube drinks, or whatever teh fuck those things are.

anyways, more photos. hope you're enjoying them. i'm stayin in henderson tonight which is a completely new experience and devoid of slot machines, card tables and fun things that rob you. thanks duggs, i owe you at least $40 and a 40oz.

fuck, conan is a repeat tonight, even though my morning jacket is the musical guest. check some photos while i get up to go flex my pecks in the mirror...

fountain in front of the paris casino and hotel

flamingo: the casino is old by the marquee is timeless

ceasar's palace is massive. when you stay there, the wake up call picks up with, "HAIL noble guest..." serious shit

arch de motherfucking triumph. i love lindsey lohan

oh shit and i would be remissed not to mention the free smut that you can pick up and random points along the way. they look just like newspaper dispensers. except, instead of news, you get nudes...hello? hello? is this thing on? sweet pandas...

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 3

2007-03-29T01:26:00.000-04:00

fuck you

I have to say that I love the Mirage, but I hate the dealers here. Fuck you I want my money back, bitches.

But I did meet some lovely ladies tonight, who turned out to be from the D! Detroit WHAT! Well, okay, Novi, but close enough. Turns out though the hot one has like down syndrome or something (some weird speech impediment) AND a boyfriend in Connecticut (fucking bitch), the decent looking one was actually cool, and then there was the token fat one who was like leaning a little too hard into me and who loved the tigers (!!!) but was really kinna fat (sad face).

In the end I chose cards over these three lovely girls, one of which was visiting for her first time (the hot one with a mental defect) and all three of whom were not staying at my hotel (too drunk to walk to the Tropicana…who the fuck stays there anyways?) plus they were all excited to be in vegas. I was all like, er, what day is it? I’m down 40, gotta go put in some work.

And fuck, I did okay at the table. I even started putting the chips away in my pocket, which means, hey, when the chips on the table are gone, you walk the fuck away jackass. But eventually I started losing, then got pissed, then started pulling them out again, then contemplated throwing them at the fucking panda bear dealing. I hated it with every fiber of my body.

Then the woman bringing drinks who could have easily been my grandmother with Alzheimer's (god bless you grandma) didn’t bring the right drink with her. Mind you, I waited for her stupid ass (she brought a fucking corona, WITH a lime. how dare you?!) and lost another $10 waiting on her slow ass to bring the drinks. So I paid $10 for nothing. No, not nothing. I paid $10 to get really pissed the fuck off and come back to my room to blog.

Fuck, Vegas is soooooo fucking cool…

Here are some shitty photos of fuck all bullshit fucking cockayassas (btw, tonight on Anderson cooper 360: using cattle prods to stop kids with autism. then the chick reporting is like, "so i decided to try it for myself." then the old woman, the mother, shocks her and the reporter is like "OHHHH, its not pleasant, its not pleasant..." So fucking sweet. Ocean’s Eleven is fucking cocayassas)

fuck you

fuck you

you're cool

fuck you. i'm out

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 2

2007-03-27T21:31:00.000-04:00

home of the runnin rebs

got picked up at 5:45am. JFK>LAX>delayed flight>LAS>cab line. for anyone who's ever been to vegas, you know that the cab line is infuriating. i mean, there are slot machines in the airport. so from the second you deplane, all you're thinking is, "let's go make some money." of course, that's short lived as you get to the baggage claim where some imbecile is dragging ass on the baggage chute and then you step outside to a cab line that makes no less than 10 switchbacks and usually takes no less than 30 minutes to get to the front of.

All the time you're dying to go get in on all the cool shit you just saw in the airport: strippers, clubs, gambling, david hasselhoff in mel brooks' the producers, carrot top, manilow...where did i lose you? anyways, the cab line could be one of the most efficient you've ever witnessed as there is just an endless line of cabs filing into the airport.

then you hit the cab and they've got these books for all the cool shit you can do in town. the real secret is to tell the cabbie you're in town to have a good time (i.e. a phish show maybe) then you might get a little glimpse into the REAL las vegas. try it some time.

anyways, you make your way in the cab through the ghetto before getting to the strip. along the way, you might see things like:

something for the ladies (and senor sexy)

something for the homeys

something for the pirates (ARRRRR)

really though, they're building a gold city out here. it's a little freaking ridiculous

more treasure island, cause its kinna cool looking

and the wynn. cause its just bad ass

anyways, more to come, a few photos for now

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 1

2007-03-26T17:35:00.001-04:00

ITS THE LEADER QUEST MISSION AND WE GOT THE GOODS HERE

Sup kidz. So this week yours truly will be live blogging from Handsome Bobsled, Captain Commando Mecca: Las Vegas. Well, not really live blogging seeing as how I'll be there for work and I'll probably be doing work type things for most of the day and then drinking and playing cards afterwards. Really its probably gonna be more akin to drunk blogging about nothing, much like what we do all the time here. YAYAAYYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAAYAY

NEVER ON THE LEFT CAUSE THE RIGHT'S MY GOOD EAR

I'll be staying at the Mirage hotel, located across the street from the Venetian and not pictured in any of my awesome photos here. One time Travis America and I stayed at the Mirage and we happened to walk by Sigfreid and Roy's white tigers just as one was dropping a huge tiger turd in the wading pool. Some people cheered. Other people took their kids by the hand and lead them off to more creative things I'm sure.

I COULD GIVE A DAMN ABOUT AN ILL SUBLIMINAL

Yes, a week of a completely self-serving ode to the city I’ll be landing in tomorrow. We're compiling photos and stories to help you live vicariously all week long, and I'll be checking in every day hopefully with photos and stuff that makes blogs make the world go 'round. And if any of yous got stories or whatever, leave them in the comments section. or check out our freaking myspace page, cause we have no friends.

BTW, Handsome, I saw ‘Thank you for smoking’ over the weekend. What a great movie. I know what you’re thinking, “dude, not cool being so far behind on the cool stuff.” And I know, you’re right, but still, better late than never.

Anyways, best part of the movie is when the lobbyist for the firearm companies of America orders a slice of apple pie with american cheese on it, with a little American flag sticking out of it. I thought of you. And us. And US, as in US of fucking A. And I cried a tear of freedom.

STAY AWAY FROM CRIME CAUSE I AIN’T NO CRIMINAL

if knowledge is the key then just show me the lock

2007-03-25T16:40:00.000-04:00

the day is nearly here. can't fucking wait. nyc - i love you dawg. but i can't be tied down for too long, and i think we've just gotten a little stagnant. i mean, the first three months of the year have been real cool and lovely and you and i have really been hitten it off despite a few snags here and there - for the most part its been really smooth.

but...see, i've got to get out and see some palm trees. i need to see a beach. the fucking ocean. do you even remember what that looks like? not the east river. the real fucking ocean. cause i don't.

so tuesday i'm gone. its not goodbye, just a short break. my therapist says maybe some time apart for us will do us some good...set some boundaries and that kinda shit. plus, my boy handsome is out there, and you know i gotta go give props to him. and then there's vegas, that whole scene. but that's just whatever.

you're my one true love, new york. but, just give me a little time out west so i can come back to you refreshed and ready for spring. i know you'll understand...

with love, bobsled.

handsome...I'M COMING DAWG! REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOOOOODDDDD!

one for the money two for the show

2007-03-21T14:06:00.000-04:00

photo courtesy of reed space. shirts courtesy of rocksmith. click the photo for their site and to see their badass ODB hoody

i got a birthday comin up soon yo...jusayin.

seriously though, i want to steal a freaking shopping cart from pathmark and go on a supermarket sweeps like run through the reed space and just hold my arm out while i run and push the cart so all the dope ass shit that they get just falls in my basket.
"you know, i wish that there were some way that I could be outside, playing basketball, in the rain...and not get wet. now wouldn't that be something?"

i sit alone in my four cornered room starin at candles

2007-03-19T13:45:00.000-04:00

a funny thing happens as you get older: you start to realize, slowly but surely, how complete fucking insane things you once thought normal really are. for instance, music, clothes and road trips.

take, again, for instance, this weekend. what do you do when your flight home from orlando, the tourist hell of hells, gets cancelled and you're faced with the possibility of having to stay in that disney world shit hole for not one but two additional nights? why, you rent a car and drive like hell.

well, let me properly rephrase that cause i know travis america is going to read this and think, "what a fuck, he took all the credit." you get in a car with your cohorts and stay awake for a few hours and then pass out in the backseat knowing they're going to need you to come in like the fucking mariano rivera of road trips and close that bitch out.

but that's exactly what happened. friday night at 7:30 we hopped in a car and didn't look back. we drove straight up I-95 from Olrando to the Lincoln Tunnel and only stopped for gas. my boss took the first shift, Travis the Iron Fist of driving drove straight through the fucking night and the dead boringness of Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina while I slept, and then I woke up just as Travis was nodding off at the wheel to report for duty. and i think i maybe dropped below like 80 once, maybe twice.

in retrospect, it was insane. something that in college i would have said, "fuck yeah, let's do this." like the time i drove from columbus, OH to the merriweather post pavilion in Maryland, for a concert i didn't have a ticket to, only to turn around and drive home again afterwards, stopping to sleep in my truck at a rest area for a few hours on my way back. yeah. almost 8 hours of driving, two hours of the shit ass trey anastasio band (not even the real phish) and then 8 hours home again. wtf?

so when my boss was like, "we're driving to NYC from Orlando, get your stuff" my first inclination was "i'd sooner back a hummer over my head than do that." but, somehow i got my stuff packed and...it was like an out of body experience...found myself checking out, putting my stuff in our Ford Freestyle and then starting my watch as we got on I-4. And then 95 and that was all she wrote folks.

Ford Freestyle, Whitey-style

of course we listened mostly to classic rock cause what the fuck else can you really listen to for 15 hours straight? as much as I love nas, you can't do it. and i tried listening to the underworld double CD, but that just hypnotizes you. you really have to have that good, cheezy, sing-your-fucking brains out classic rock (we tried to think of all the bands named after cities and came up with Boston and Chicago before realizing that Kansas isn't a city and that, fuck, that's all the bands named for cities.) but i'm talking like only three AC/DC songs, maybe some David Bowie and Talking Heads songs, Bob Seger, ZZ Top, and whoever sings Radar Love.

we dined on the finest cuisines: McDonald's, Beef Jerky, Sunflower Seeds, Snickers, Red Bull, Coffee, Soda, AirHeads, Cookies and...um...coffee. We saw amazing sights (sup Jacksonville, Richmond and the NJ Turnpike. god I-95 really sucks actually). We sang songs and told jokes. I guess in the end it was pretty cool. Besides, we made it in 15 hours. Google maps had that shit at like 17 hours, which means that we averaged 71.3333334 miles per hour, which is pretty fucking fast.

Besides, we had to get my Irish boss home in time for St. Patrick's Day so we could end up looking like this by the end of the day:
and that's my story.

handsome quiet down i need to make a sound!

2007-03-14T18:52:00.000-04:00

oh shit, you're right handsome, that was post 150. congratulations to us. i'ma rock out like that dude on the verizon Vcast meathead fallout boy commercial. (dude, ever since you brought that up a.) i never miss that commercial and always crack up about it and b.)there have to have been like a hunded people who have found our site by google searching "meathead fall out boy vcast" or something like that. suckas!)just got through rolling around metrowest golf course in orlando with mr. travis america himself, hitting small little white balls with clubs until they all went into cups and drinking heinekens and a bloody mary at 7:30am. work? play. freeways? fairways. birdies? bogeys. bodegas? beer cart bitches. we come all the way down to sunny orlando, the home of mickey and minnie, and the two hot hot girls out there serving us beer after beer after beer were both from the NY. well, the be fair, one was from rochester (the hotter of the two) and one was from jersey (yup).

anyways, runaway golf cart marathons are fun, but travis and i just kept fucking cracking up over this. YOU'RE THE MAN NOW DAWG. watch it again, you'll see what i mean.

Break on Through....to the 150 side

2007-03-13T01:24:00.000-04:00

So I have officially settled into my new life here. All assetts acquired for my left coast survival. This week is my first official week of having some fun as an official resident. Went to San Diego last weekend to visit my boy Jeffe (pronounced heffe) and let loose. Good times. Played a bunch of panic and chief'd a good bit. I was really starting to think about how nice it was blasting some Widespread Panic in this beachy atmosphere. Now hipsters, please bear with me. I know Panic isn't the hot shit on the LES but that doesn't mean shit. Even Bobsled does not like the Panic but i don't give a shit. I do. Anyhow, they are starting the spring tour of my dreams. Problem is, they waited till i moved out here. Fucking Karma, knew it would catch me. Anyhow I drafted this letter, begging for a West Coast Tour, and sent it to them last week:

Dear Brown Cat,

Please please send Panic out to California soon! I just moved from the East Coast to LA to find out that you are making the spring tour of my dreams. Hitting all my favorite spots (RICHMOND!! DC, Raleigh) and I all all the way out here. Damn you. Now I have to buy a plane ticket.

Since moving here it is like a dream, I drive around with sunroof open every day blaring my Panic. Not sure what your fan base is out here but it is inevitably growing as I plast Portsmoth, VA 05 at rediculous levels everywhere I go. Anyway, this place is so conducive to Panic that I just can't stop playin' it. Get out here! I need to see some California presence ASAP. I know a few others that are dying out here. Make it happen, we are here!

thanks,
Captain Handsome

First off, their management team is called Brown Cat. C'mon friends, you know that is just too good to be true (note gratuitus cat love on the HBCC). They actually wrote me back the same day, now that is love:

Widespread has played shows in previous tours out in California. The weather sounds like it is beautiful there as well! Although, they won’t make it that far for their Spring tour, keep checking the website for their summer tour which should be posted sometime by the end of April!

Take care, Brown Cat

Either way, if they do come out here I take full responsibility. So anyway, moving on, I spent a nice full day at the beach Sunday. Blazed right in public with the other 1,000 people doing the same. Got to love how accepting the lovely state of California is. About 3 o'clock I was fried like the little East Coast Whiteboy that I am. Sooooo it was off to the beach bar! Met up with a couple of Aussie's that just flew in and thus the day drunk was on. I haven't drank during the day for some time now and doing it on the beach while freely blazing was just marvelous. Next thing I know we meet some ladies and off the hook we became. To make matters better a shitty Doors Cover Band setup and started playing loud as shit right as we started breaking shit. 2 glasses went down almost immediatly. Down I mean down on the floor....splat. The waitress didn't care too much as she was trying to deal with the hord of Bikers that began to take over the bar and break even more stuff. Oh, it was good fun. Ended the night having a session on the beach with the ladies and watching the sun go down. Here are some pics of some rediculous long hair time warper and the blazin' sunset. Come visit soon. Happy 150th post!

i got bigga brothers waiting in the bushes to push kidssss

2007-03-08T23:38:00.000-05:00

Drunk. It's Thursday. Sup What's New?

Dude, I’m watching the Marquette/Pitt game right now and thinking, “Damn, nothing’s sweeter than playing on the floor at THE garden!”

Then they show a shot from the court and you see in the middle of the arena, underneath the scoreboards and shit, dead smack in the middle…is an ad for aeropostale.fuckingWEAKnessgardendudecmon

anyways, weak. weak-end. weekend. yeah, i said it: weekend. what's everyone doing? uh huh. yeah. you don't say. well, throw on your vintage AERO tee and get out there and raise some hell!!! even if you are just going bar hopping in BK and then going to the skinny till the sun comes up cause its somebodys birfday.whatchoo thought this was a game?...

who's world is this?

2007-03-02T22:52:00.000-05:00

sometimes you realize that one of your good, good friends by the last name of duggan who you don't get to see that often any more takes amazing pictures and that seeing those pictures after drinking a bottle of wine and having a great day and watching the departed on dvd makes you think, 'man, that's a fucking sweet photo and i want to share it with the two or maybe three people who read the blog from time to time and tell those people that, yo, my friend pat takes great pictures and i don't care if i look like an asian boy with down syndrome that just got high on a balcony in chicago with the sears tower in the background while wearing the hoody of destiny, cause life was good at that point.'

life is good people. happy weekend.

What Can Brown Do For You??

2007-03-02T03:38:00.000-05:00

So about a week ago decided it was time to see a show in LA. I figured that after a month of blaring all my favorite music from my sunroof it was time for the real deal. I prayed that there would be some show that raised my eyebrows, legs, and cronodancing (see our flicker pics, i am sure cronodancing is in there some where...Who's world is this?) So am searching and what do I see? Not only in the next month or two but 3 days away (crica 3 days ago). P.S. "US Blues" just came on (yay). Anyway Karl Denson was playing tonight at The Mint in Beverly Hills. Holy fuck, he is one of the best shows around. I have seen him at bonaroo, 9:30 club, some tiny place in VA, BB Kings in NYC, and The Blue Note. This guy tears it up. So I went. My first Left Coast Music.

THE SHOW:

Not that the place was a dump but it was more like the mint pictured above than the main ingredient for a Mojito. I get to the place and it is about the size of my rich friends basement. Ther are approximatly 59 people in the place and I was 2 feet from the stage watching Karl Denson set up his own rig. I have only seen him at places with 1000 plus fans and out here I am all the sudden steps from the stage. Ha Ha people don't know shit for music out here. Well not other than Fallout Boy Crapola (have any of you seen the worst commercial for Verison V cast with the meathead jamming to fallout boy. Fuck whow! I don't want anything that guy likes). Anyhow he jammed with this group of boys half his age that he found in New Orleans. Benny D Band. There was a hippy couple both wearing skirts dancing and rolling around onthe floor in a ture monument to homeless setbreak lifestyle. Minutes before the show I chiefed the last of my crunchies. Danced like a fool it was great. About half way through the show I realized something crazy. Karl Denson was the only person in the entire room that I had ever seen or met before. Kinda crazy to realize that. I had drank 3 buds with Beam Back's.

I met some Americans during Setbreak. One offered to chief me out in the street and we were fast friends. 4 Sesh's later we went back in. Zimbabwe. Anyhow I said hi to Karl and drank a Guiness with him at the bar and he apprecitated being my only other friend. Well I atleast told him to. Second set I danced like a cat in a cole mine. Fun shit. I got a crononumber and had a fun show. Karl was wearing a UPS jacket the whole second set and I kept yelling "What Can Brown Do for you. I think everyone thought I was bing racist. I wasn't you know. Barely made it home but some sunchips helped guide the way and here I am speaking the beam out of the truth. Damn it was fun. Say hi to Karl:

i throw a sucka in the front for the ones that front

2007-03-01T09:27:00.000-05:00

damn, i hate to bury my sargeant slaughter post, but the HBCC would be remissed for not pointing this out:

"New York City symbolically banned use of the word nigger on Wednesday, the latest step in a campaign that hopes to expunge the most vile of racial slurs from hip hop music and television."

"whatchoo talkin bout nigga?"

seriously? somebody get me Chappelle on the phone now. better yet, let's start up a fund to get the bum who sits outside my bodega down to city hall to protest.

i found this quote to be particularly hilarious:

"This could be the beginning of a movement," councilman Albert Vann said.

or it could just be time for you to shut the fuck. that's what i would do if i was trying to ban the 'n' word in new york freaking city. i would shutthefuckup. shut. the. fuck. up.

and for those of you too lazy to click the link, here's the best part of the article, a quote from Chris Rock:

"What, is there a fine? Am I going to get a ticket?" Rock mocked in a Reuters interview when asked about the City Council move. "Do judges say, '10 years, nigger!"'

i sip the don p watchin ghandi till i'm charged

2007-02-28T16:38:00.000-05:00

So the best memory I ever have of a WWF event was the Ultimate Warrior fighting against the Macho Man Randy Savage. I wasn’t ever really allowed to get in to wrestling that much – mostly cause when I was younger my teacher had to sit my parents down and tell them I shouldn’t be allowed to watch Dukes of Hazzard any more. There was also that incident of me pushing a girl down on the playground, but that was later and mostly related to that whole puberty thing. It didn’t really go so smooth for me, that’s all. In fact, girls still kinda frighten me.

Which is why I’m hear to talk about wrestling!! HELL YEAH ::chest bump:: ::secret handshake:: BRO! I’M SAYIN BRO! BROSEF!

Anyways, I definitely still remember the characters. And I know the facts, at least the ones that pertain to the Detroit. Like how the Detroit Silverdome was home to the largest professional wrestling event ever when Hulk Hogan wrestled and subsequently bodyslammed Andre the Giant. So it should come as no surprise (no surprise or no interest?) that today as I was reading the Detroit Free Press online (who moves to New York and keeps reading the Detroit newspaper? Me. So walk your white ass back across 8 mile.) I noticed this interview with Sergeant Slaughter about Wrestlemania 23 in DETROIT WHAT.

Apparently the good Sarge, or Robert Remus as he’s known to his kids (do you think he puts his kids through calisthenics in the morning?) is the official mouthpiece of the WWE. He’s also a member of the World Wrestling Hall of Fame. Now that’s kinda weird, but it also sounds REALLY FREAKING AWESOME!! Handsome, scramble the sled, let’s do a field trip.

Oh, and did I mention that the article, particularly the last part, kinda makes Sargeant Slaughter out to be gayer than a spandex one piece. Read it yourself if you’re too lazy to click a link:

Q: You’ve said that in the WWE, anything could happen, so if you could pick anybody to go against, who would you pick?
A: I’ve always wanted to wrestle the Rock. I saw him as a little boy when he would come into the locker rooms with his father and grandfather. He blossomed into this performer. I don’t think he was a great wrestler. He wasn’t anything unique as far as ability, but he had a unique way about him. Just the way he talked and his elbows. I would have liked to have wrestled him. He and the Undertaker, I’d love to wrestle.

My all-time favorite would be Vince McMahon. I’d love to wrestle Vince…We always talk about it, when his father was running the company, he said, ‘You know Sarge, I’d love to wrestle, but my dad won’t let me.’ And I said, ‘Why don’t you put a mask on, and I’ll wrestle you?’ ”

Okay, jeez, where do you start?
1.) I always wanted to wrestle the Rock, ever since I saw him as a little boy in the locker room. The way he talked and, oh, his elbows.
2.) I’d love to wrestle Vince. ‘Why don’t you put on a mask with a zipper on it and I’ll wrestle you.’

Alright, a little out of context, I know, but still, weird.

Still though. Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame. Fuck, apparently it’s not a real place (is there anything Wrestling that's real?) and Pete Rose is a member. Weird.

god this was fucking brilliant

2007-02-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

anyone else catch this last night? now that is art

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #4

2007-02-24T14:14:00.000-05:00

"My name is, shake zula,
the mic rulah,
the old schoolah,
you wanna trip,
I'll bring it to ya..."

Art. Definitely art.

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #3

2007-02-24T00:27:00.000-05:00

Art or Poison - the living dead

swear to got this wasn't photoshopped by Bobsled.....wow

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #2

2007-02-22T09:46:00.000-05:00

Continental Diner just outside the Poconos

Art or Poison?

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #1

2007-02-21T00:44:00.000-05:00

Travis McGee and the Revelers Album Cover Art

Art or Poison?

with the right device you can make a pattern grow, or you can tune up your car

2007-02-20T14:38:00.000-05:00

This past weekend my first weekend chilling at home in a long while. Damn, what a feeling. So glad to just wake up, eat some Corn Puffs then Luck Charms then some other cereal with a lot of sugar on it, watch a lil SportsCenter, kick back on my computer without my boss looking over my shoulder while I Photoshop this, that and the other, take a nap, get high, play Scrabble and watch the slam dunk contest (sick, Dwight Howard, just sick).

Well, like I said, I’ve been loving the Photoshop lately. And I was going through some old photos on Saturday morning and found some cool shots of my ole boy Handsome. One thing lead to another and I started fooling around with some brightness and contrast and color and came up with a few Andy-Warholesque stills of the Captain that I wanted to share with you. Whadddya think (see above and then right below)?This weekend was also the Year of the Pig and the Chinese New Year. Sup all you pigs out there. Ima Monkey, but I guess we all have our own personal traits that make us better than one another in some ways. For instance, I can swing from trees and throw my own poop. Pigs roll around in their own poop and eat their own poop. So there’s that. Whenever I think of pigs, I think of that Guy Richie movie ‘Snatch’ where the old guy talks about the best way to dispose of a dead body: pigs. Cause they’ll eat every part of the body. Brilliant.One of the luxuries of being home on a Saturday, or any day really for that matter, is being able to watch TV. For instance, this morning I’m watching CNN. Right now there’s a story about “husband arrested when murder for hire plot was caught on tape.” And the wife is confronting the husband in court. What do you say in that case? “Um, look, I realize you were a little upset when I wouldn’t let you put it in my butt…well, now maybe somebody in jail will give you that opportunity.” I digress, the exclusive feature that really caught my eye was, “Paula Zahn: Hip Hop, Art or Poison?” wow. I really, I just might have to tune in for this. Gee, I wonder what side a middle-aged white woman is going to take in that argument. Now, granted, I’m sure it will be objective and include interviews from such industry luminaries as Flava Flav or some other joke of a rapper that can attest to what an art form hip hop is, but still: Art or Poison. Poison? I feel like that’s a bit extreme. Although, maybe the Captain and I will collaborate on a forum of our own: HBCC: Art or Poison?

Although, if you want to check out something really stupendous on hip hop, you might want to consider this.

There's a new cat in dogtown

2007-02-18T01:09:00.000-05:00

It is official. I am now a resident of California. Just signed a lease today for my new left coast abode. I guess I am livin' large with an apartment in NYC and LA. Unfortunatly I won't get a chance to get back to the Hatten anytime soon so I will have to just make the best of my new digs in California. And what a day to do it. 82 degrees and sunny today. It is the warmest day of the winter out here and the whole beach was buzzin. I decided to play hookey from work today, signed the lease and went to the beach for an hour. Never did that before.

So let me tell you about the place. Tiny, falling apart, with a graffiti covered view of a gas station out my window. To quote the movie "Venice Beach, the ghetto by the sea. Its gross, its dirty....its beautiful". Now its home. So I guess I am ramblin' but it has been kind of a wierd day. I finally get home from work and guess what movie is on? The Lords of Dogtown. You know I have never seen this movie before? Kinda funny it is on the night I just sign sign a lease here in Venice I see the movie for the first time. Guess its meant to be. This town is about to get a lot more Handsome.....HBCC is now officially Bi-Coastal.

the b, the o, the b, the s, the l, the e, the d...digital

2007-02-16T14:58:00.000-05:00

one more, apropos of a week's ending post, i guess:

Be My Valentine You Sexy Ass Feline

2007-02-15T00:42:00.001-05:00

The cats purr on valentines day

Her crotch needs some nip

The nip I speak of knows the way

to please that kitty from base to tip

Oh dirty cat purr you might

Hearts beating in your America Boot

Kitty Kitty grip that mouse so tight

So find your kitten and check the one eyed poot

Dedicated.....

To you dirty cat lovers on this Valentines Day

a valentine's day poem OR when its on we transform like optimus prime

2007-02-14T12:05:00.000-05:00

my music sucks. i need to get new shit

2007-02-13T16:08:00.000-05:00

handsome, don't forget to send a letter to your sweetie for valentines day.

valentines day is such a crock. but, seeing as how i'll probably get a little play tomorrow, i'm happy to throw out a few extra bucks to super size that value meal. go on girl - getchoors

(dude, by the way, that's like the best hand i've ever ever drawn on photoshop. jeyayayaayh ::fist pump::)
lance armstrong is gonna run the NYC marathon again this year. well, so am i, now. and i'm gonna work on that whole beating him this year.
step 1.) run faster
step 2.) repeat for three hours

wish me luck.NYC peeps: Travis McGee & The Revelers are playing this Friday (2/16). come out an drink, a lot, for no good reason. The Revelers hit the stage around 8pm. Here's the details:
Friday Feb 16, 2007
at 8:30 PM
Where::
The Baggot Inn
West 3rd Street between Thompson and Sullivan
New York, NY 10001
United States

From California to Manhattan Island.....

2007-02-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

That's atleast the setting of the conversation that gave birth to this here post. Also, it is a beautiful referance to our majestic land. America! See, Bobsled and I were having a friendly chat which of course turned a bit Grammy. Wow, what a positve little show wasn't that. I support the pop music industry's dedication to touching our soul in these troubled times of war. Holy shit, was a Hillary Clinton infomercial on tv last night while I was asleep (thanks grandma for showing me ther awsome sleeping force that is know as leaving your tv on all night)

Digression time..............Tell me the truth, when I painted the above scenario the first thing that popped into your head was white trash? Seriously, ever notice how that is such a social taboo? What the fuck is so bad about sleeping with your tv on. Does that mean I should be living in a trailer or something? WTF people. It's not that bad for chrissake. ok, digression off......

So back to the point, no wait I don't think I have even started off on a point yet. So Bobsled and I were talking about the Grammy's and he mentioned that Luda (Ludacris to you white kids in the flyovers...) just won the award for best rap album. I was like, "I didn't even know he put out an album in the past few years". To which Bobsled replies "It's cause we are old now, man". Errr could this be possible? I mean, no way it can be possible. I know whats up and whats cool. I must be youthful and tuned in cause how else would I know that The Police were getting back together. Ohhh Shit........Fuck

At what point did what I happen to like begin to be the shit that older people start to like? Or did what I like ever qualify as cool? I am really a bit shaken up here. I mean this is a pretty big question my lucky friends. Well, I just thought about it (i mean just then) and I am pretty sure I don't know what I think the kids are listening to these days. When I thought of the question the bands that popped into my head were Green Day, U2, Timberlake, Snoop Dogg. Well shit, that just tells a story right there huh? Diversion #2, the Shaquira / Wycleff performance is just now and uuhhh....hhuhh...uh...nevermind. So I am probably going to guess that if you ask a test group from ages 17 - 23 they would not mention a list that remotely resembles mine. Not that U2, Green Day, and Snoop Dogg aren't still popular, they are just not the top choices for coolest music in the schoolyard. Just to make sure to clarify here: THAT IS NOT MY TOP LIST OF MUSICIANS.....it is just who I would name if you asked me who I thought was cool to the kids these days. I would summise that the list would actually look more like timberlake (who I also had!), Kanye West, Fallout Boy and Fergie. Diversion #3 The Grateful Dead just got a shout out, Sweet! Ok, I guess diversion #3 also kind of just drives the point right in there a little too deep. I guess I'm done here. Goodnight from the Left.

dear handsome

2007-02-09T18:34:00.001-05:00

YEAAAHHHH!! high five. sup brutha. me and travis be drinking some beers at the office, friday night style man. we're superstars...

dude, peep this story.

so last night my landlord calls and he's like, 'bobsled, there's a leak in the restaurant right below your apartment, we need you to come home and let the super in so's he can fix that shit.' (note: this is a huge hint where i lives at all yous stalkers. good luck)

anyways, i'm all like, 'yeah, whatever, i'll be at the spot in like a minute.' so i hop the F train at herald square and pop back to the spot, bang on the door to the downstairs basement/apartment/pit of darkness and call for the super. open the door and the smell of weed is like overwhelming. like, the chronic man.

dude comes running up the stairs and he is ripped. blood shot eyes, the whole nine yards. i'm like, 'hey, mr. G says you need to get in my apartment to fix the radiator' and he's like 'oh yeah, lemme, um, lemme, um, oh, uh, lemme just get my, i just need to get my tools, i just need to get my tools real quick.' seriously, he was high as hell.

so he runs downstairs and then there's this pause. then he's like, "uhhhh, you wanna come downstairs for a minute." and, i'm like, hells yeah!! but less gay than that, more cool, you know how i do.

handsome, i've lived in that building for four years now, two of which you were partying at pretty regularly. and i've never, ever met someone who's been in the basement. imagine my excitement! i was like a kid on christmas morning (or channukah you jews)!! what the fuck is down there?? and why does it force my super and his buddies to smoke so much weed all the time.

well, actually, it was pretty anti-climatic from there. there was like a bathroom, and a chill out room, and three other thug-like kids passing a huge joint. it was the chronic, lemme tell you. they were all a bit stressed out and then i was like, 'damn, this is some good shit yo. i was just in amsterdam and man! they got the shit there!!" and everybody eased up, my super was like, "SEE! i told you everybody in this building smoke weed yo." hilarious. i threw out some pounds and like five point handshakes and 'ayight den, be good yo' that kinda stuff. i got all kinds of black friends.

then my super proceeds to come up to my apartment, high as a kite, and try to fix my radiator. HIGHLAERIOUS!! he couldn't do shit. he like, looked at the radiator, hit it with a wrench, twisted it for a second, looked at it some more and then pretty much left. he was like, "call me if anything happens."

five minutes later i'm watching the pistons kill the lakers when steam starts pouring out of that radiator thing. so i call him and he's like, "uhhhhh, turn it off till i come look at it."

and he hasn't been back yet!

happy weekend you fucking LA piece of shit, betch.

dear handsome

2007-02-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

yo man, sup. whew, things have been crazy, let me tell you.

first off, glad to hear you are living it up in LA. sorry about my trip out there in January. next time i'm out there we'll throw down for sure. plus, by then, you'll know your way around and you'll know lots of beautiful people and we can make 'power moves' as they say. but for sip and drink and be merry, and be a nice girl and save me the cherry (okay, that's a line from an LL Cool J song. not exactly applicable in this case, but i'm a sucker for rhyming. not a sucker rhyming. sucka free, yo)

second, jet lag is a major bitch. as i think i told you, i just got back from 10 days in europe. i'm not sure there is a word in dutch for 'moderation' because every single night in amsterdam i got fuctup beyond belief. i guess that's what happens when you buy some desert bud for the room and keep a little stash by the toilet and just get high every time you sit down to take a dump, and then also buy a bottle of johnny walker green from the duty free shop cause its so freaking cheap and then just drink like half a bottle right after a few bong rips. one night i slept on the floor, one night i was throwing up, and two nights i was up until like 4am with heart palpitations. there was really no in between. four days of 'full steam ahead'.

then came paris for a weekend. what a city of assholes. for fuck's sake, would it kill you to learn a little english? i've taken the time to break my ass to learn a little french, so fuck you ingnorant fucks. and nothing is more embarassing than trying to watch the french put on a Super Bowl pre-game show. i had no idea what the fuck they were saying, but their idea of a pre-game celebration was to trot out some local high school cheerleaders at an Applebees in Miami and then go over the rules of futbol Etats-Unis. fack vous.

and then air france charged us $400 to get back on our flight to amsterdam. yes we're american and yes we can't travel without three bags each, each weighing roughly 50-60 lbs. but you can't let us get on the flight in amsterdam wihtout any warning and then try to charge us an assload of money, in any currency, to get home again. fuck fuck fuck fuck you. assholes.

i'll tell you what: europe is cool and all, but damn if i wasn't happiest just sitting at epsteins eating a big piece of dead meat, drinking whiskey and beer, watching basketball (!!!), leering at the hot waitress and giving the look of death to the retard serving drinks that my ex says she wants to sleep with (she hasn't yet, but if she does, i'll buy you a plane ticket back to NYC so we can break his dick).

the fucking neighborhood is the same: shitty as ever. and fuck it's cold here. i know i know i know, its all over the news, but fuck its cold.

anyways, good news! the avalanches are coming out with a new album soon!!

also, travis mcgee and the revelers are playing on the 16th for anyone interested.

other than that, i guess i'll write again soon, but can't say for sure when just yet. thought of you while i was in amsterdam...

Baked Beach Bit # 2a

2007-01-31T00:55:00.000-05:00

So for the second installment of my new Baked Beach Bit series I will be talking a bit about some of the people that I have met here in the LA (pronounced laaaa). I was pretty excited about meeting all these cool California People and gettin' a sence of Left Coast Culture. Much to my schagrin (???spelling of shagrin/chagrin/whatever) it seems noone here is actually from Califronia. Everyone I met so far is from somewhere else. Don't know why I am surprised, NY was the same deal but these transplants are different.... See in NY I met people from Boston, Philly, hell even Miami but mostly from somewhere on/near the east coast. Everyone I have met here is from the fuckin' midwest. WTF!? Nebraska, Ohio, Missouri, Idaho. I wanted to meet all these cool people and all I get is the goddamn class presidents and dreamers from the fly overs. This is bullshit. Even the celebrities I meet are from the midwest. Had dinner with Nelly tonight. Seriously, nice guy but can I get a Snoop Dog for Chrissake! Goddamn flyovers...

Baked Beach Bit #1

2007-01-29T22:09:00.000-05:00

Driving to Tito's Taco's I had a little moment. Driving in my car with the sunroof open, just finished blazing at the beach, I found myself grooving. I mean really getting down by myself in my car. I then thought to listen to what was actually blasting from my stereo with bass ^^^up up. Get in to the Groove! I swear to god Get into the Groove was rocking my world. Wonder what the local's thought of the guy with NY Plates jammin' to Get into the Groove like he was a backup dancer for Wham! 80's Nigga.....

Left Coast of Handsome....

2007-01-29T00:16:00.000-05:00

ha ha her name is NEGAR and she has a pussycake!

Hey there Bobsled, the only reader left after our hiatus. Handsome comin' back to life here from the Wu-Side. Thats right suckas The Wu followed me here to Los Angeles to show these bitches/Ese's how we do it in "The Hattan". The rumors are true. I have defected. I have strapped on the Auburgene's for my most oficious and daring exploit yet. Bringing some East side love to the West Coast.

First off I have to say that the police out here are fucking off the hook. Not 30 minutes after crossing into California I was pulled over by a CHiP. WTF. He proceeded to tell me that the aircraft clocked me at 89mph. As I wondered if the recently consumed cronotons were playing tricks on my mind, my faithful travel partner noticed a plane circling us through the sunroof. Do you know anyone who has been pulled over by a god damn plane before. We have all laughed at those signs on the highway but out her in The Fronia it is fo-sho! However, it was the nicest cop I have ever met. He didn't even try to search our car or anything. Thank god. Oh, and I have the wrong address on my license so fuck that ticket! HBCC 1, CHIPS 0

Venice Beach is my new home for now and it seems ok. There is a little streatch called Abbot Kinney that has kind of a Bklyn meets Chong feel. Or maybe that was my companion "Humbolt" speaking....... Either way they have these fucking awsome shoes. In fact Soooo Many Shoes. You can't believe it. I got the new scoop on the shoes that won't make it back to the east coast any time soon. These shits are so phat you think they just got done at a Del Taco Buffet. If anyone in NY wants a pair just give me a holla and I will send out a pair so you can be the first to rock the hottest new shoes on the planet. Check'em out gangstas:

More from me to come.......i gotta get my Left Coast Mo-Jo runnin'

all good things must come to an end, the bad ones just go on forever

2007-01-24T13:36:00.000-05:00

"wipeout wipeout!! WIPEOUT WIPEOUT WIPEOUT!!!"

Wow, it's been a while huh? You look really great.

What's up? Those new year's resolutions must really be working out for ya. What's that? You stopped running and took up bobsledding instead? Well, whatever it is, you look great.

What's new with us? A lot, thanks for asking. As you might have noticed, we still have the same shitty website layout that we've come to loathe. I don't know, maybe you love it, maybe not. Whatever. We're working on updating it. It's a resolution we made. We suck at sticking to resolutions.

While I continue to Bobsled down the same trails I've always gone down, Captain Handsome broke west for California. Motherfucker's living it up in Venice. So no more, "I'm from New York, I'm so special" posts. Now its all about, "Traffic on the 405 was so fucked up today" and "God, the temperature dropped below 40, it's fucking freezing here!!" Stupid shit like that that CA people can't seem to get enough off. That and celebrities. Am I missing anything, Capt? Ahhhh, what the fuck would you know, you've barely been out there 48 hours.

Well, (I used that word just so all of the paragraphs would start with the letter 'W'. This post is also brought to you by the number 37, which is 4+100/7+18.714285714285(I think that's a repeating number actually, but whatever) anyways, as the title says, good things come to an end, bad ones just go on forever. (that's a line from Destroyer's Rubies. I stole it. I'm sorry Dan Bejar, please don't destroy me. HEE HEE I couldn't resist.) ( I must also apologize to you, fair reader. That album, as great as it is, is soooo last year. With our new commitment to helping you become more handsome, we'll be more diligent about posting only things that are fresh, new, relevant, groundbreaking, breathtaking, robust, turnkey and earth shattering. Like Travis McGee & The Revelers, playing February 16th at The Baggot Inn.)

Where was I? Oh yes. All good things must come to an end, the bad ones just go one forever. As you probably already know, the HBCC is far from 'good'. And since we've got a long way to go before we could ever be considered even just 'bad' (and not in the Michael Jackson way either) I guess we'll start posting again and get cracking on that whole 'forever' thing.

ALLEZ!! STAY HANDSOME!!

Get Handsome Part 2: T-Shirts

2007-01-04T18:59:00.000-05:00

I was gonna do some kind of really in-depth post about cool t-shirts that might help you Get Handsome. But, in reality, I'm detoxing (fuck you new year's resolutions). And right now my brain hurts worse than that time I stayed out till 4am on a Tuesday and still got to work on time Wednesday. Seriously, I might go out and kill a vagrant on my way home.

So, I'm gonna do some links. Some links with some images and a little bit of writing. Maybe then you'll notice that I completely gaffled that little piece of Photoshop hotness above from someone else way more creative than me. I mean us. But maybe you'll also get an idea of some cool t-shirts out there. This is more or less a starter's guide of sorts, but do your homework - you'll find some other even better stuff via these links.

Shall we?

Wu-Tang T-shirt from Manifest. Currently sold out at the Turntable Lab online store cause its fucking...(insert fruit that will replace BANANAS in 2007. Kumquats? Hells yeah.)...its fucking Kumquats!! YEAHS!!! Check it out:There's also this one:Then there's this little ditty from Lemar & Dauley (this is my personal favorite in the group. you can buy it from Shop Cream...)
And last, but by no means least, we have these cute little ladies caught in the act on a shirt from Foreign Family (a shirt you might want to purchase from Lion's Den in LA)...We're only scratching the surface here, but I'll finish with this one from Reason (pure brilliance really...)And this one that pretty much sums it all up for ya (also from Reason)...

Well, good luck out there. Get Handsome!

Get the Fuck Out 2006

2006-12-31T18:12:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEARS YOUR RAVENOUS BASTARDS!

So I am ready for 2006 to end and the Handsomest year ever to begin. Get ready cause 007 is gonna be the bomb. Yeah, same ending as Bond. James Bond. That means explosions, girls, intrigue, espianage, and just plain flat out Handsomeness. Anyhow, the Bobsled and I are goin to a Twister Party in Bensonhurst. I am pumped as shit. Check out a picture from last year:

Wherever you are, whoever you are with, have a great new year, fuck you 2006 and Bienvenidos 007! Right hand red, left foot yellow! Don't end up like this either.

my team is good, my robes is good, moms is good, my style is good

2006-12-29T14:35:00.000-05:00

sup. thought i'd take time out from getting handsome to give you a glimpse into the madness that is the minds of the HBCC.

recently i read a post over at the assimilated negro that dropped a heavy IM conversation about placing a moratorium on the word douche, douchebag, etc. you can check it out, it's a really great read (just like all the other stuff).

so i got the captain on the line today (google talk, holla) and we got into it deep. check it (CH = Captain Handsome; BC = Bobsled Commando):

CH: that smile is dope :) :) :) :)
:):):):):):):):):):)
word
BC: :) :( :) :( :) :( :) :( :) :( :) :( :) :(
:/
:?
CH: damn no sideways
BC: i wish there were more
CH: 8)
BC: :-)
CH: :<
BC: sup nose
CH: :,)
BC: nope
CH: what is the nose, how is that done
BC: :%
:@
CH: :-)
BC: :!
CH: holla
BC: brilliant!
CH: :}
solid stuff

Get Handsome Part 1, Subsection A

2006-12-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

[Get Handsome is a continuing series from the makers of Handsome Bobsled, Captain Commando aimed at helping you improve your style, assuming your style needs improving, which, if you're reading HBCC already, it probably doesn't. But whatever, we press on with a brief addendum to yesterday's post:]

1.) Sometimes Wikipedia can hook up some decent information. For instance, following our last Get Handsome post which broached the questions about the origins of 'The World is Yours' by Nas, we decided to do what the kids these days are calling, "research." Here is what I found.

2.) The Fader blog the other day released its Listmania for 2006. Never traditional and always entertaining, the featured lists take a humorous look back at a few things from the year that was, including music, pop culture and, in particular, a few fashion trends that are coming and that need to go. Since we're staying with the Get Handsome theme this week, I'll save you the trouble of reading all of the lists (although you should) and cut right to what you need to know about 'trendy' shit in 2007:

Top Six Nominees For 2007 Fashion Trend Deathwatch
6. All-over print hoodies/anything
5. Jeans with things embroidered on them
4. Fat boys in skinny jeans (please stop)
3. Body branding, ie Kanye West shaving the Fendi logo into his hair, etc
2. Rappers in golf attire (Young Dro is the exception that proves the rule -
still, this just isn't cute)
1. Skulls

"whoa whoa whoa. so all-over is all over?"

Top Five Brands Deserving of A 2007 Comeback
5. British Knights
4. Troop (again)
3. Pierre Cardin
2. Kappa
1. Starter

"see you January 8th"

Get Handsome Part 1: Hats

2006-12-26T21:48:00.000-05:00

[happy holidays! just checking in over the break to relay a little discovery we made while doing some last minut shopping on saturday. this is also the first in our unofficial installments of Get Handsome, where we tell you about something you should really know more about to help you step your game up. without further adieu...]

hats. one of the baddest accessories out there and yet one that can so easily make you look really bad - and not in the good way. i'd venture to say that it takes more determination to rock a amazing hat, than it does to take on the world in an outrageous pair of kicks. especially when you're rockin a 7 3/4 or higher 59fifty.

so where can one go to find an amazingly unique and at-the-same-time stunning cap these days? why, look no further than down the street and you'll find (just past the amazing reed space): Still Life NYC.

first thing you might notice is that their website has dope music. (this is a tren d i am in favor of, big time. as soon as i figure out how to post up a track from this Fela Kuti Live album i just got fir christmas (Thanks Santa!!!), or 'Down for So Long' by The Rapture, i will. and then you'll actually enjoy our site just that much more. hard to believe, i know...)

second thing you might notice is the hat selection. so many hats you wouldn't believe, but here is just a little sample, and, not coincidentally, the hat that i'm now saving for:
amazing, no? now, really, there's a lot to be said for the bow-tie and the scarf in that photo, but i'm just trying to tackle one item at a time here. don't even get the HBCC started on bow-ties...

right, so, check out the online stuff, start getting read up on hats, and not just the ones with sports teams on them, feel free to suggest other stores you might know of in the comments.

oh, and, whatever you do, if you're in NYC, visit the actual Still Life shop:77 Orchard Street. They have two dope ass dogs that lounge around the store, a grey jacket that is too nice for words (and too expensive for my budget, especially around the holidays) AND when i was in there on Saturday, the song that came on in the background was an acoustic-like verion of Nas' 'The World is Yours?' [Weiss: can you help out here? know of an acoustic or original version of 'The World is Yours' or 'Whose World is This?' Bonus Question: is it bad form to ask a shop owner what's on the stereo? i kinda feel like when you own a shop or boutique and you've got a straight dirty mix of music, its kind of your own little secret, and that asking is just rude plus kinda amateurish. or maybe that's just me...]

anyways, i don't know how many of you people spent the summer of '06 screaming this in bars and at 4am in your living room, but we did. And hearing it made me feel like i could buy three $700 jackets AND a motherfuckin bottle of Cristal. So I quickly ran out of the store...

but really, go, shop, Get Handsome.

it's beginning to look a lot like bob-sled

2006-12-22T09:38:00.000-05:00

Ah the holidays. So freakin happy right now.

My holiday Christmas party got cancelled, so no funny stories like my brotha Balderdash has to offer.

And Handsome got laid off back in November (sorry Handsome, just had to put that out there) so now he’s off courting new job offers in the lap of luxury (LA) and definitely not attending holiday parties to write funny posts about.

And my ex-girlfriend has informed me that she’ll be sleeping with the bartender at Epsteins from now on, so there’s that too. And we’re broke, and the NY Times wrote a story on streetwear, so it looks like that whole fad is over. Fun while it lasted though.

And we upgraded to Blogger 2.0 and that’s impossible for a two un-smart people like ourselves to figure out.

And we were nice enough to get invited to the Blogmukkah extravaganza, but then my flight home from Chicago got cancelled, so we couldn’t come hang out with all the people we’ve been looking forward to meeting in person.

And its snowing in Denver

Oh, and I spent the night in Hoboken last night. Unbelievably happy about that.

So, look: we’ll be back in 2007. “Come back like Jordan, wearin the 4-5” like the Jigga man would say. We want to say thank you very much to everyone who has come by the blog over the past coupla months, thank you for a great year, we wish you all nothing but the best in the New Year, Stay Handsome and Allez Bobsled! AUF WIEDERSEHEN

make it count like jordan at crunch time

2006-12-13T16:16:00.000-05:00

hey, so, that was a heck of a weekend huh? nothing like coming down with the flu after burning every last brain cell in the brain bouncing back and forth between brooklyn, union square and the LES.

i believe the popular phrase in this case is 'mailing it in.' shit, we put the stamp on the envelope, licked the seal, and then pretty much passed out in the gutter on our way to the mailbox on the corner.

and somewhere today (shortly after watching real world: denver yet just before the tylenol PM hit the system) we were flipping through the ole bookmarks and came across something truly brilliant. one sec: actually, the captain called me yesterday to let me know his idea and he's actually on something original and intelligent. my style is more to clue people in to something really, really awesome.

so, people, if you're a lover of the hip hop and street culture, tune your computer to one of the mo betta designed websites that i've seen in a long while. (if you're at work, pop on your headphones, click through the brief intro images and then crank the volume).

check it: Inquiring Mind

but what about the wonder woman bracelet

2006-12-10T04:34:00.000-05:00

happy champagne weekend part II.

yeah

this dj be warren g

2006-12-09T04:45:00.000-05:00

happy champagne weekend to everyone. make it a good one yo.

CHEERS!!

from the heart of medina to the head of ft. greene

2006-12-07T18:00:00.000-05:00

1.) We love streetwear. We embarked on a journey this summer to order the most ridiculous pair of sneakers from pickyourshoes.com that we could find. Funny thing is, when I told the Captain that he should order Nike Delta Force Air 3/4 Deluxes with leopard print on the toes, I kinda thought they were sweet. Then he got them and started wearing them, and I was envious, maybe even a little jealous. But you know what? I didn’t kill him in his sleep for them, cause he’s my buddy and I’m happy for him to rock a sweet pair of kicks. It’s what friends do for each other. It was maybe one of the first time I had experienced that feeling because a.) guys don’t usually go shopping for each other, so that was a whole new experience for me and b.) I haven’t had the chance to go through most of the sh*t that we’ve gone through and I feel like we’re damn good buddies.

Anyways, streetwear. December 10th is the 25 year anniversary of the Nike Air Force One. 1981 man. I bought a pair of AF1’s last summer from Jimmy Jamz or whatever it is down on Delancey. Living on the Lower East Side, you see a ton of people wearing these shoes, although most people are rocking the Nike Dunk Lows (big difference, for real). And all I had ever owned since moving to New York was really stupid looking shoes: some Pumas, lots of running shoes, dress shoes, some Addidas. But nothing that made me feel the way I imagined people with Nikes must feel: friggin sweet.

So when I finally got my own pair it was just like, “Daaammmnnnn.” I’m materialistic like that, I’ll admit it. But there’s something about lacing up a super fresh pair of kicks that makes you feel a little bit hipper. And there are none better to do it with than the AF1’s. I have a pair of Air Terminators Low (awesome too, little air pockets all through the sole) and a pair of Dunk Highs (with red and white seersucker along the side, see photos in the first link above). I’ve also got a pair of Air Max 90’s that I customized using that whole Nike ID system online (they didn’t quite turn out the way I’d hoped, but I still rock them from time to time).

All of these are well and good, but I still go back to the Air Force 1’s any time I need a go-to shoe. And with the anniversary of a legend coming up on Sunday, even though you may not be Nigo or Kanye West or Charles Barkley with a personal invite to the anniversary soiree, and you might not have the budget to go online and get these, you should at least cruise down to your local shoe store (or the Reed Space if possible) and pay homage to a classic. 2.) I know some people who don’t eat any vegetables at all. Like not even lettuce in a salad. I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin.

3.) Audrey writes haikus sometimes. Well, okay, almost all the time. They’re unique, original and modern. If I knew anything about art or literature, I’d draw a comparison between her style and someone else really talented, yet underappreciated. Alas, I don’t know nothing. Which I hope doesn’t dequantify my authority on the subject: I know cool stuff. I just can’t recall names and points of reference at all. So, yeah, take that for what its worth.

4.) A recent post over on This Is What We Do Now has sparked quite a debate between the HBCC. See, Larry (dude who writes TIWWDN) argued that the new Geico commercials are of sub-standard quality and are ruining the legacy of the original, extremely hilarious set of commercials. My favorite and the one I feel is most underrated in that set (like Audrey’s haikus, just not hilarious, but still brilliant and underrated) is the one where the two cavemen are sitting in their nicely furnished apartment - one playing the piano, the other watching TV – when the Geico commercial comes on. When it finishes, the one playing the piano stops playing, looks up and says, in a voice of extreme discontent, “Ah, that is sooo condescending.” Hilarious.

(Tangent City: What’s up with only the one caveman being used in the new commercials? Talk about art imitating life: survival of the fittest. This is the dude who nailed the, “I don’t have much of an appetite” line and now he’s the official caveman spokesperson. But the funny (ironic?) thing is that this Darwinian theory actually did apply to REAL cavemen. WOW. Wow. ((Tangent TANGENT City: I love the Sonic commercial with the two dudes sitting in the car and the one guy is like, “Wow, there is a lot of food in this breakfast wrap…it’s like a breakFEAST! Wow. WuhuhuhOOWWW! A breakFEAST!!” and then he just keeps on sayin it. It cracks me up.))

(SUPER BONUS TANGENT: The king in the Burger King commercials is starting to win me over with his stunt, crash, thumbs up commercials for that new line of video games. I'm easily amused.)

Anyways, wow (WuhuhuhOOWW. A tanGENT!) So, we’re arguing now. Because, I agreed with Larry but Captain Handsome adamantly disagrees. And, after seeing the Geico caveman newscast commercial last night, I kind of see Handsome's point. I mean, I knew the punchline was, “Looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the rock this morning!” and that’s pretty funny, sure. But what really gets me is the beginning of the dialog, when the caveman says, “First off, I’m not 100% in love with your tone right now.” That line alone is f’ing great. And the one where he’s walking on the moving walkway in the airport: really solid also. It's a tough one for the actor cause the facial expressions are the gist of the commercial but, again, the guy nails it. So really whoever produces these spots for Geico is still getting it right and, after careful consideration, I have to rescind my comment about agreeing with Larry.

5.) Tomorrow we're hostng a champagne party. Pictures to follow. This post only took me like 30-40 minutes to write. Suckas.

whatup ma, i got a pocket full of stinkys

2006-12-06T18:00:00.000-05:00

Life comes at you fast sometimes, especially on the weekends. Seems like some weeks you spend Monday-Friday looking forward to how awesome the weekend is gonna be - the chance to chill withcha brahs, drink some brews, meet some new people, listen to some tunage, nosh on some Rosarios - whatever. All you think all week is: damn, this weekend is gonna be the ~~weekend I get laid~~ bomb!

And you get all worked up and you go running out of your office, or wherever it is that you spend all day, and you rush to get home, eat some food (hopefully) and then get down to business: drinking. Excessive amounts of drinking. Maybe a call to Eddy. Whatever. Friday night, Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, early Sunday morning and then, the next thing you know, you're staring down the barrel of another work week, thinking, "damn son, what the hell happened to the weekend/checking account?"

Well when you reach that point on Self-Loathing Sunday, you've experienced what is commonly referred to as a Friturday. For instance, take this hypothetical conversation with one of your co-workers on Monday:

Stupidhead coworker 1: "...so then, as we were coming out of Off the Wagon, my girlfriend threw up all over my new loafers. I was totally pissed, but I was so piss drunk, I didn't even care. Then we yelled at some homeless guy, got in my new Lexus and drove back out to Long Island."

Stupidhead coworker 2: "BRO, I like totally saw you at the bar! ::high five:: Did you see that chick with the super enormous titties? Awh bro, BRO, I was soooo wa-hay-stedededed. Dude, what did you do this weekend?"

Me: "Uh, well, when I don't really remember. I mean, I know I went home, made a phone call, started drinnking, and the next thing I knew it was Sunday. GOD, I have got to stop abusing so many substances on Friturdays."

Said phrase can also be used to refer to any combination of days in which a bender might take place. For those in the food service industry, there' s the ever popular Monsday. There's also the lesser known Thuesday, although at that point, you might as well make it a Tueturday...

And now you know.

we can trade places get lifted in staircases

2006-12-05T17:21:00.000-05:00

EHHHHRRRRrrrrr, hiiiiii. ummmm, how's it goin?

yeah.

eh, that was awkward huh?

no no no no, not that. i meant, well, um, well you know.

that whole last post thing. kinda serious, kinda not. kinda weird.

yeah.

no, its not you, its me. it's just, i've been under a lot of pressure lately. and, i just haven't been feeling like myself.

yeah, uh huh.

i understand. okay, here's a picture that my sister took of Vanilla Ice slamming Jager at some bar in Philly...

good talk. see you arond.

scoop jackson the facking hack OR how our friends at YAYsports got play-gerized and didn't get no love

2006-12-04T23:10:00.000-05:00

hi. the dude who writes YAY Sports is one of my favorite writers. he made this...

and this...

BUT he also writes hilarious stuff about the NBA.

now, this is far from being some kinda sports blog, but, hey, we have other interests besides being slovenly and other stuff. namely, reading other blogs when we're supposed to be working or whatever it is we're supposed to be doing while we sit in front of a computer all day.

so it made our little hearts sad beyond belief to read the tale of how an ESPiN writer stole a fucking brilliantly funny idea from YAY and tried to pawn it off as his own.

First, a warning: to understand what I'm talking about, you have to do some reading. And some linking. So just give up now if you don't feel like doing that. But, we feel its for a good cause.

Ready? Okay. So The Cavalier writes about the NBA. This year the NBA introduced a new ball. Everyone hates it. So The Cavalier made the new ball into a recurring character. Have a look here. See? Some funny stuff in there. Then, just last week, the idea got stolen by this dude who writes for ESPiN. Start here . Then here.

so to that guy, scoop jackson, we say: dude, that sucks. whatever man, maybe somebody somewhere who doesn't know about pickyourshoes.com thinks you're the man. but really, the people who know what's up know that you you don't know what's up. and you have to go home at the end of the day (or maybe you work from home, whatever) and think about the fact that you just straight up ganked a hilarious idea from someone else, put your name on it, turned it in to the stupid editors at ESPiN and then went home and masturbated to gay porn. is that libel or something? yeah, probably. but if you sue us, you'll win, take some of our money, go home and masturbate to gay porn again. then feel better, then get drunk, then wake up and have to face self-loathing sunday with nothing but your blog post that you didn't think up, our money and your vast collection of gay porn.

anyways, thank you for reading. support the cause if you feel so compelled.

if you like 6' 3" 231 lbs quarterbacks with laser rocket arms

2006-12-01T22:58:00.000-05:00

Dear people who own Hummers: thanks for the weather this week. I thought I was done sweating for the year, but, no, actually the heat goes on.

Anyways, our own Captain referenced this on Tuesday, but after seeing the record setting number of comments on his post, I thought I’d round out the week with something that expands on the idea of a Drink-Off. Besides, I have visions of the Bourbon Samurai holding a sword to my throat, and I scare easily (last night I had a dream about Freddy Krueger and had to call my mom at like 3 in the morning).

First off: Happy Weekend. We made it America. As John Cougar Mellencamp says on those fucking truck commercials, “This is our country.” And then, as Jimmy Johnson says in that Miller Lite commercial, “Duh-uumb.” And as the caveman says, “I don’t have much of an appetite ::death stare::”

Second: A drink off. Yes, I said it, a drink off.

My friend and I had a little conversation before the Nada Surf show at the Hiro Ballroom Monday, shortly after polishing off some tequila shots. See, she is the manager/owner/founder of one Brooklyn Drinkers Club, based in, you guessed it, Brooklyn. Jeah. Well, freaking, wouldn’tchaknowit, shortly after consuming tequila, some shit starts getting talked up like a freaking vindaloo mouth suppository.

Yeah, HBCC v. BDC was the idea. A battle royale drink off. A drink till you die and then drink some more night of drinking our faces off.

The idea hit me like a moment of clarity (I hate those). It went like this: Two teams line up on either side of a table from each other, kind of like flip cup. Beforehand, one team chooses the weapon, i.e. tequila, vodka, whiskey, etc. Then, the first team members begin taking shots until they puke. When the first person pukes, the second person begins taking shots, and so on down the line. First team to have everyone puke wins. Unfortunately, we failed to see eye-to-eye on this idea. Apparently (and correct me if I’m wrong friend who knows who she is), the BDC doesn’t include hard liquor in their get-togethers. Which is cool: I mean, the idea of a drinker’s club is a social activity. Let’s get together share in some drinks, maybe compare/contrast drinks, wax intellectual – all while tying one on. It’s nice. It probably results in people remembering what they did the night before, maybe hooking up (as opposed to passing out, as the HBCC is wont to do).

No liquor. And that’s the problem. BDC says, “Oh, a social interaction, this will be fun.” HBCC says, “DRINK OFF, DIE SCUMBAGS, DIE!!!”

Really. Like, I told the HBCC about the challenge and then the no liquor caveat and people were pissed. Like for real. A lot of F Brooklyn’s and what not. And then of course Snakes, the only female member of the HBCC (so far), weighs in with WEAKLES BENEAKLES and that straight blew the door of it. (Some time we’ll tell the story of how Snakes is the most unintentionally racist person on the planet. It’s hilarious)

Anyways, a drink off has some very interesting potential. And, no, the BDC has not answered our challenge yet. So...yeah, we’ll make this an open challenge: 30 beers (Bud Lite), a fifth of liquor (TBD), and a Crave Case from White Castle. First team (FYI, we'll call a 'team' eight (8) members) to finish every item retains the title of BLOGWORLD DRINK-OFF CHAMPIONS. Contest to be held in New York City only. (Not valid in Mexico, New Mexico, or anywhere else that encourages people to drink when they’re five years old. I’m looking at you Russia and Kentucky).

Well, something to consider.

HAPPY WEEKEND!!! STAY HANDSOME!!!

Our Good Friend Travis America

2006-11-29T20:11:00.000-05:00

Travis America had been working on some possible ablum covers for his upcoming Musical Masterpiece. What do you think? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
1)2)

I apologize in advance. Not for the music obviously as it rocks. I apologize for the filth that I posted. Please do not let your children read our post for atleast 2 weeks until this filth clears. The album will obviously have the appropriate warning stickers if any of this lovely cover art is chosen. Alef! Alef!

I can read Chapter Books! You Can't Read No Chapter Books!

2006-11-28T10:02:00.000-05:00

Don't rush into thought. Take a moment and just ease into it. Put your hands on your hips, cock your head back 5 degrees and gaze deeply into the sunset. It will come. Deep Thought. I know most of you out there have not had a deep thought in probably the last.........birth. Seriously, do you remember the last time you were lost in your deepest Thought Chambers? I hadn't visited in quite some time until recently. That is why you have not seen any handsome post's lately, as this most certainly isn't a venue for deep thought. But here are some great venue's for deep thought and meditation that I found over the past 2 weeks:

1) Williamsburg Waterfront - Errr....warehouse space......errrr hipster cracktown......errrr hidden gem. I took my first hike through the barren Paradise of Perfect last Sunday. Start your trip out to this Graffitti Cementarium (pronounced Cem-ment-airy-um) by cruising down Delancey and over the Williamsburg Bridge. It provides some fantastic view's of the city and assorted Brooklynites making deep heartfelt documentaries for our times. I met Bob Worthienstein who was making a documentary of the FDR for his pet hamster. Great Guy. Anyhow, the Waterfront, especially along Kent Street, is one of the last untoched bastians for deep thought in this city. I am not sure what it is but there is some serious Feel to the place. You feel like you are totally alone and possibly the last person on the planet. Until you look up into what looks like a deserted warehouse and there you see a retarded nice apartment. Or turn a corner to find a skate shop with a dope ass half pipe... where you realize that there is actually life out here. I recommend the floral couch located in the overflowing dumpster on 11th street for the deepest of thoughts.
Deep thought rating: 3 Joints!

2) 99 Miles to Philly - Welllllllll what the hell. I decided that on my 2nd ever trip to this East Village (3rd Ave. Between 12th and 13th st) Cheesesteak Haven I would go for a Zen Experience. I enjoyed my first trip there but didn't feel like the complete fat, fuck, lazy, shit waste after eating my steak sandwich like I do after a Karl's Cheesesteak. Sooooo I, readers please don't judge, decided to eat 2 cheesesteaks. Hmm, how do I describe this...... sitting in a rickity little cheesesteak shop with my belt unbuttoned and unable to walk for 25 minutes after finishing my meal........and do it justice. Hmmm. Ah Ha! I was in deep thought!
Deep thought Rating: 1 Blunt

3) Barker Lounger - You know, chillin in the living room with no job. That shit gets deep! Deep Thought Rating: Argyle!

Sooooo I just got word that the BDC "Brooklyn Drinkers Club" is challenging the HBCC to a drink off. Can you believe this? To me this is the equivelant to the Japanese Bombing Pearl Harbor. HBCC of course being the honorable sleeping beast known world wide as AMERICA! Remember what happened when such audacity reared its head in the past. Did someone say Nagasaki. Stay tuned for updates on this breaking story!

if i'm too simple then ya'll don't get the basics

2006-11-22T10:27:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays from the HBCC, or HHFTHBCC!

1.) Visit our friends (aka people we envy) over the break and get to know why we think they’re the best:

You Look Really Great

Misguided Misadventures in NYC

2.) I asked for some help earlier this week and I’m still hoping a few people out there can throw down that ulta-obscure recommendation that’s going to throw my 12 year middle school reunion into a frenzy. Weigh in with whatcha got.

3.) Yesterday I was chatting with a hot sexy babe online. I mean like really hot and sexy and baby (huh?) Anyways, she says to me:

Dateline15fnaked: hey big boy
HBCC: me?
Dateline15fnaked: ;) yeah you
HBCC: uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah
Dateline15fnaked: i'm wearing orange undies today
HBCC: that sounds sweet
like an orange
or a cumquatt
Dateline15fnaked: ewww, you’re gross, I’m gone. But I’ll leave the backdoor open and a camera crew on hand in case you want to come over. And there’s gonna be lemonade and cookies also…
I totally thought I was gonna score, but, alas, my private school > state university education failed me. Something about the cumquatt comment totally blew it for me.

Disappointed, I headed over to the answer for everything, Wikipedia, to find out just what the fuck went wrong. I searched for cumquatt, and there it was, my glaring error revealed: spelling. Kumquat. Shit. Fuck shit balls. (earmuffs kids).

So I click on the link and there it is, the Kumquat, in all its glory. My interest piqued, I read on about this strange fruit of Earth passion:

“Kumquat- Kumquats are small orange fruits harvested from the crevices of dwarves arses, predominantly in the north west united states. The name is derived from the latin coom, meaning taste, and quat, meaning like foecal matter”

Well then, now I know what grossed out my little hottie: tastes like foecal matter? Gross. Fuck you Kumuat, fuck you in your stupid ass.

4.) Finally, thanks to all you who keep checking in from time to time. Happy Holidays to you and yours, safe travels and visit our friends over at GBEHH.com to hook up a little holiday cheer, email style

the sweet smell of victory, go head and breathe it in like anti-histamine

2006-11-20T17:40:00.000-05:00

i tried racking my brain yesterday for something to post on today, something that would sum up my weekend in the fly-over state of O-H-I-O, something that would give you readers an accurate picture of what it's like to experience ground zero during the game of the century, what its like to eat at the flying pizza, what its like to do a bunch of stuff that you totally forget, what its like to drink four red bulls during one football game, what its like to see the bobsled commando eat a bunch of mushrooms and then run around like a chicken with its head cut off right after it ate a bunch of mushrooms....i mean, i tried really really hard to think of something: when i was puking in my friend's bathroom, when i was puking on the airplane, when i was near death at my sisters bathroom in philly, while i was riding the train through PA and into NJ and then into Penn Station, when i got blasted in the face with the stench of the subways again - i really really thought something would come to me.

alas, it wasn't until i emerged from the subway to my beloved LES once again that i was presented with the following photo and a post was formed and i had no problem at all coming up with it...

(man law: american apparel should run advertising for everyone)

wah-wah-wahhhahahahahahaha

for all you buckeye fans

2006-11-18T13:21:00.000-05:00

HAPPY WEEKEND HBCC!!
GO BUCKS, BEAT MICHIGAN!!
STAY HANDSOME!!
ALLEZ BOBSLED!!
CHICKEN NOODLES SOUP WITH A SODA ON THE SIDE!!
FREESTYLE!!
THE WORLD FAMOUS JUICE BROS!!
FLYING PIZZA!!

The HBCC Archives

So I guess my return to blogging meant....nothing

Shakin' in the Fornia

So I'm back and it is because of the Damn O's

Dreamin' Bout Heavin' But Feel Like Hell

So Tommy, What do you think of these pictrues?

Handsome Sports

UTAHRAPTOR

still looking for that sweet pair of 11 year old oakley BMX goggles?

Happy Bobsled Weekend Everyone!!

HBCC Post #200 Says: Another Weekend Down the Drain

Listen'd to G'z and Hustlaz on the way home from work tonight.....

coupla jokes i've heard lately

Happy Friday HBCC Nation!

Adventures of Henry the HBCC Hedgehog

I call litta the shitta

Funky Cat's Gonna Be Miss'n Cause Bobsled Bounced from the Griffin

here comes sunshine

Dear Daft Punk,

Missin' the Shakey Shake

pardon our motherf*ck!n dust motherf*ck3rs

Ha Ha

RIP Hamilton, RIP Van Winkle

RIP Bobsled Commando

American Bobsled in London

Ahhh The Weekend......Go Steal Some Shit!

that's how it is, that's how its gonna be, kidz when you grow up, who the fuck you wanna be?

The Most Annoying Converstion in the World

stop me if you've heard this one already...

MUY CALIENTE!

quit tryin to save my soul, i wanna roll with my homies

i make a party of all lefties leave em screamin out all right

Bring on Year #2

jimmys diggin cats

Another Cat Photo for the Weekend

ima pay one day, just not right now

A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown

Grandpa's Got the Beer Goggles on Again

Captain America is Handsome

you must be another handsome boy graduate

i wanna make this funky for you

my best friend stephen at the home depot

MIA in LA n' NYC

California Voodoo - Now With Air Conditioning

its my birth(f)day and i'll rap if i want to

James Dean of the Bobsled Team

HAPPY EASTER

shame on you when you step through to

Reunited and it feels so good

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 4

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 3

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 2

HBCC Ode to Vegas: Day 1

if knowledge is the key then just show me the lock

one for the money two for the show

i sit alone in my four cornered room starin at candles

handsome quiet down i need to make a sound!

Break on Through....to the 150 side

i got bigga brothers waiting in the bushes to push kidssss

who's world is this?

What Can Brown Do For You??

i throw a sucka in the front for the ones that front

i sip the don p watchin ghandi till i'm charged

god this was fucking brilliant

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #4

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #3

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #2

Art or Poison: Handsome Installment #1

with the right device you can make a pattern grow, or you can tune up your car

There's a new cat in dogtown

the b, the o, the b, the s, the l, the e, the d...digital

Be My Valentine You Sexy Ass Feline

a valentine's day poem OR when its on we transform like optimus prime

my music sucks. i need to get new shit

From California to Manhattan Island.....

dear handsome

dear handsome

Baked Beach Bit # 2a

Baked Beach Bit #1

Left Coast of Handsome....

pardon our motherfck!n dust motherfck3rs